It took me a long time to realise I had a problem. Longer still to do anything about it. I tried to stop a few times but it wasn't until I looked for help from the NHS website and got counselling I was able to go more than a couple of weeks without gambling.
I wasn't very committed to it to start with. My girlfriend was worried that I was doing therapy but not actually stopping. After about 3 sessions I felt I had to actually put more effort into stopping. I excluded from all my gambling websites where I played for 5 years. One website didn't have any controls so I changed the password and made it hard to remember. So my online gambling stopped 24th July 2024. I still went to the bookies once and bought a lottery ticket. I felt this was cheating even though it wasn't my usual gambling activity. After these 2 bets I haven't put a penny on gambling since 3rd August 2024.
I found it hard because I spent so long each day gambling before. It was boring and I felt like I had given up on my dreams. My therapist said this was common. It got worse so I started taking anti depressants. After a couple of months things have improved dramatically. I suddenly have more money. I have to reward myself for doing so well. So I have invested in my running. Bought new trainers and clothes. I usually would have not had the money to do this before. I used to be broke halfway through the month about 90% of the months. I have run faster and further than I have done before.
I regularly keep diaries to keep a track of my spending and how much I gamble. For months I had almost no money but since I stopped online gambling I have more control over my finances. I was never in serious debt but I would regularly have to borrow off my mum or girlfriend to get through the month. Now I am looking forward to Christmas and have very few worries about being able to afford it.
It is something I have had to work hard at. Pressing buttons on a mouse and gambling is so easy. I hope I never go back to gambling because my life is so much better without it.
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