It took me a long time to realise I had a problem. Longer still to do anything about it. I tried to stop a few times but it wasn't until I looked for help from the NHS website and got counselling I was able to go more than a couple of weeks without gambling.
I wasn't very committed to it to start with. My girlfriend was worried that I was doing therapy but not actually stopping. After about 3 sessions I felt I had to actually put more effort into stopping. I excluded from all my gambling websites where I played for 5 years. One website didn't have any controls so I changed the password and made it hard to remember. So my online gambling stopped 24th July 2024. I still went to the bookies once and bought a lottery ticket. I felt this was cheating even though it wasn't my usual gambling activity. After these 2 bets I haven't put a penny on gambling since 3rd August 2024.
I found it hard because I spent so long each day gambling before. It was boring and I felt like I had given up on my dreams. My therapist said this was common. It got worse so I started taking anti depressants. After a couple of months things have improved dramatically. I suddenly have more money. I have to reward myself for doing so well. So I have invested in my running. Bought new trainers and clothes. I usually would have not had the money to do this before. I used to be broke halfway through the month about 90% of the months. I have run faster and further than I have done before.
I regularly keep diaries to keep a track of my spending and how much I gamble. For months I had almost no money but since I stopped online gambling I have more control over my finances. I was never in serious debt but I would regularly have to borrow off my mum or girlfriend to get through the month. Now I am looking forward to Christmas and have very few worries about being able to afford it.
It is something I have had to work hard at. Pressing buttons on a mouse and gambling is so easy. I hope I never go back to gambling because my life is so much better without it.
I agree. Through counselling I was able to understand the reasons why I gambled and understand that it was doing me no good long term.
Well done mate 100 plus days is a great achievement i too have have had gambling issues for the past 18 years am on day 504 gamble free and my life is a million times better i have not only paid my debt off i have some savings and bought quite abit of stuff which needed replacing i actually believe why didnt i start this process earlier i went Ga on and off has i personally didnt fit in however what worked for me was using the services on here i realised what my triggers were and it was the first time i wanted to make these changes and that was to listen to the people, i also learnt the addiction isnt like any other and it only take 1 bet to turn my life upside down im glad you are seeing the benefits early on and it will help to push your drive to remain gamble free
Thanks @tazman. 100+ days does feel like a big achievement. Congrats on your 500+ days. I too am feeling why did it take me so long to start. I guess I wasn't ready to properly stop. Good luck with your gamble free journey too.
Yesterday was 200 days and it didn't feel like a success. I guess I will always doubt whether I can stay gamble free. Eventually I tried to work out what was bothering me about it.
I wrote some pros and cons of my next steps as I was taught in CBT. I feel like I have a clearer view on what I want to do next which is work on my programming skills.
With gambling it always felt like I was working towards a goal even though I wasn't successful. Recently I have felt a little aimless. So I have set myself new healthier goals.
I had already set myself running goals and have been working towards them but I have been feeling its not enough. I think this is the addiction. Nothing ever feels like enough. When I reached some running goals they didn't feel important. I didn't get the sense of achievement I was hoping for.
I don't feel like celebrating 200 days. But I should celebrate my wins so that I am encouraged to do another 100 days.
I'm just behind you on 178 days. I feel alot like you, like I'm missing something but I do still feel resolved in getting through this. I'm just not very patient. I've been keeping myself busy but the thoughts of gambling are still there. Its almost like a grief.Â
Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you as 200 days is a huge success! Celebrate those wins and keep going.Â
CloverÂ
@sj6mi7e8hx Thanks clover I am continuing to celebrate the wins. Good luck in your gamble free journey
Thats amazing mate keep it up am on day 622 i still get tested from time to time i guess it human nature however with block in place and making it difficult for myself i have found other things to do in the meantime i realised i will never be cured from this illness and the only way forward is to keep my brain occupied and if i ever get an urgue i can spend my time on this forum their no majic cure and after my last relapse i just dont want to experience those feelings again
@tazman Thanks for your support.
233 days today
I have also been looking for ways to keep myself occupied. I am due to run my first marathon in April. I have been looking for work too.
I don't want to let myself relapse. I have worked very hard to get to this point and I would be devastated. I think that keeps me thinking about it.
Also all the lying I used to do when I was supposedly quitting before. I tried quitting but my heart wasn't in it and I never lasted more than a few weeks before. Then I would lie about where money was coming and going from. It was too painful to go through again.
I'm almost certain my partner would leave me if I relapsed so that scares me too. She helped me stop after 25 years.
On the positive side I can now talk to people about gambling and that I quit over 6 months ago and feel some pride. Before I would feel embarrassed that it took so long to stop or guilty that I wasn't telling the whole truth about my gambling.
I'm very happy that I haven't had to borrow money for the whole 233 days. Some of the happiest days of my whole adult life.
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