75 days GF

Hi Ken,

Always good to hear from you. I didnt realise it was 200 days til you posted so now i know your 200th day is fast approaching. Well done & thanks for all your support. The month of March approaching and you know whats coming up. In previous years id be farmiliar with what trainers are sending & for what race. Can honestly say i havent a clue who is running what, which horses are favourite for champion hurdle,gold cup, champion chase etc etc nor do i have any interest if im honest.

Back in December i was afraid of this meeting coming but think im finally beginning to adapt to a gamble free life.Had my ups & downs dealing with the guilt & self loathing but then i ask myself IS MY LIFE BETTER OR WORSE THAN IT WAS 200 DAYS AGO. It isnt rocket science is it ? So much better. Its not just the longest ive gone without gambling its probably the longest ive gone without lying.

Look forward to toasting your 200th day,thanks for your kindness & support.

Stay Strong

AL

Hey Al,

Massive congrats on hitting 200+ days. Really happy for you. Also making me happy to see you and Ken continuing to offer the insight, support and advice that you both do. Always a pleasure to read and always something poignant to take away.

Keep looking after yourself. Take care

Hi Signalman,

Long time no see. The flashbacks K2 reffered to earlier. Wow they brought back some memories. I used to drink in the roughest pub in the city many years ago. Im talking about late 70s & early 80s. It was ran by an ex boxing promoter with boxing memorobelia all over the walls and fights and violence between regular customers were just part and parcel of a normal Saturday night out.. To give you some idea how bad it was the rats wore boiler suits and even the piano in the bar had 1 leg in a plaster cast lol ..Every saturday night the landlords best mate would turn up and guess what he did for a living ?. Surprise surprise he was a bookmaker. In those days there was no SKY TV so major boxing world title fights were shown on ITV or BBC. When i think back he was no more than a preditor and guess who was his easiest prey ? He was more than happy to offer various odds win on points 3rd or 4th round knockout etc etc.. In hindsight i spent so much more on gambling than alcohol. I left P--sed and broke anyway & the bookmaker left sober and sooo much richer.Wish id seen the light then.

Stay Strong & Kind Regards To You And Your Family

AL

How the days fly.

Humbling to see you have hit 300 days.

I don’t suppose partners can ever comprehend why we ended up so utterly lost in gambling, and why we couldn’t just stop, but I hope your wife is proud of you.

Won’t be going out tonight but I’ll have a single pint on Friday and think of you

Hi Ken,

Thanks for posting, feels like ages ago since we talked for the first time at the start of my journey. As for my wife being proud of me i'm not sure i'd go that far but i'm quite sure she's not sitting in her office today trying to concentrate on her job, & thinking " WHAT THE HELL IS HE UP TO RIGHT NOW, IS HE GAMBLING AGAIN ?". For someone as addicted as i was that's remarkable progress.

As far as 300 days GF, that can only be a good thing but a long time ago you told me how you think JUST FOR TODAY & i not only took that advice on board, but have lived by it ever since. Like you say it's only a number. As sad as it is i've heard other addicts tales of relapse when they're so close to celebrating being a year gamble free ( indeed some have been GF for even longer ) so it's true when people say we're only 1 bet away from danger. I'm not a religious bloke but had a christian upbringing & every morning i thank God for giving me the strength to say no yesterday.

On Saturday my son popped in ( he doesn't know i'm seeking help from addiction ) & mentioned it was Derby day. I can honestly say for the 1st time in more than 40 years i didn't realise the race was on that day. Stupidly i put the race on TV, ( as you know I'm excluded & barred from local shops ) but had i not been i can't honestly tell you i wouldn't have gambled. That cancer still exists inside me. Which brings me to another piece of advice you've given me in the past ALWAYS GUARD AGAINST COMPLACENCY.

It's great that you're doing so well in your recovery & i feel blessed having your friendship, wisdom & support since last August. Be proud not only for what you've achieved for yourself & your family, but what you have given freely to so many others on here. I've come to the conclusion that there's good in everyone but can somehow get hidden or lost when addiction goes untreated.

Sincere Best Wishes

AL