A healthy way ?

Try keep fit classes.great way to meet new folk and get healthy at the same time.

Posted by: Clairepotter

My problem is bingo. Not online bingo but spending too much at my local club. I only go about 4 times a month just after payday but spend way to much and then struggle with my finances the rest of the month. 

I'm having issues with losing the social side of things. I hate to admit that at the age of 42 I have no real friends of my own.  I socialize with my husband and his friends but have none of my own. 

Although I go alone to bingo I have people there who I can have a chat to and I don't feel so alone. 

Does anyone think there is a way of training myself not to spend so much at bingo while still being able to go or do I have to stop going completely. 

I'm scared of sitting at home every evening the thought of it makes me want to cry. 

Hi Claire 🙂 

I don't think there's any way of " Training yourself "not too spend to much on bingo , I've tried as have many others on here to cut back on gambling by spending less time doing it or cutting down on stake but ultimately I think most would just go back to the way they were and if not worse . 

The question you have to ask yourself is " Do you want to stop gambling or just losing " ? , Ideally I'd have liked just to stop losing but soon realised the only way that was ever going to happen was to stop completely, as I'd become not just an ordinary gambler having a bit of fun but crossed that line into Compulsion .

I understand the whole " Social thing" of gambling but there are other way's of socialising as was suggested above or community center or even volunteering work if that appeals to you ? but personally although at the time I looked on my gambling in bookies shop's as social , now looking back it was more about a couple of word's or a nod to people that I never new most of their names but that I'd gambled alongside for many years , so actually it was quite solitary really as we didn't drink or go out together and I never classed any as real friend's . 

I guess it was my gambling mind giving me yet another reason to keep on doing what I always did ?? . 

There's a world full of thing's to do it's just finding what's right for you :)) 

All the best for now 

Alan  

Thanks Alan that does make alot of sense. 

I never really mind not winning although nice when it happens. I just go when I'm bored at home or feeling extra lonely. 

I am very new to this site and admitting I might have a problem.  I always thought that because I don't do anything else that spending at bingo was ok.  Ideally I would like to still be able to go. Maybe by giving myself a cash budget say £50 and leave bank cards at home so I cant access more. I know I can limit myself to twice a month. Or maybe not going straight after payday and treating myself  before payday if I have the funds x

Posted by: Clairepotter

Thanks Alan that does make alot of sense. 

I never really mind not winning although nice when it happens. I just go when I'm bored at home or feeling extra lonely. 

I am very new to this site and admitting I might have a problem.  I always thought that because I don't do anything else that spending at bingo was ok.  Ideally I would like to still be able to go. Maybe by giving myself a cash budget say £50 and leave bank cards at home so I cant access more. I know I can limit myself to twice a month. Or maybe not going straight after payday and treating myself  before payday if I have the funds x

If you feel it's still fun Claire and you can stick to a fixed amount without exceeding it, then that would in my opinion demonstrate that you have the willpower to keep it under control  . 

Having said that and I may be wrong but surely if you felt you were in control then you maybe wouldn't have sought out this forum ? 

You seem as though your asking me" is it ok to gamble " ?  but that's a question only you can answer Claire , Please don't think I'm in anyway judging you because I'm the last person that could judge anyone based on my past but I know that when I turned up here I had a huge problem  which had been with me for many years before I finally did something about it ...... but that was me and you know you better than anyone , so maybe have a word with yourself and see how you really feel about it all ? . x

It's funny that you also mentioned that you really don't mind not winning ? .... With me as a compulsive gambler it stopped being about winning many years ago , it was just the buzz of the gamble really and money was just gambling tokens that allowed me to play on for longer . 

We have a mantra on here of " We cannot win because we cannot stop " 🙂

Talk to you later  x

Hi claire

perhaps take the self assessment on GamCare home page.  I did and was totally honest and got my results.  It asks things like. Did you spend more than you meant to? Did you lose track of time?  Have a look and see what it says.

as al mentions many people can gamble, have fun, stop and it is not a compulsion.  I am like al.  I don’t stop until I am forced to and winning became a way to gamble longer.  Not to win.

take care Claire x

I think I sort this site because the last few months I have spent more than I should. No real reason for spending extra just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I'm not liking the feeling I get at the end of the month not having money.  This month seems especially low on funds. I did go a couple of extra times because of a friends birthday party (our bingo hall does bingo parties) and a bingo night out with work. 

I think I joined as I have known gamblers and have seen first hand what life can be like for them and i don't want to slip into this becoming a problem i cant get out of. 

I have very strong willpower, gave up smoking 7 years ago, and gave up drinking . Didn't have a problem with alcohol just wanted to see if I could. 

I'm going to commit myself for month of to see how I feel. Then if and only if I decide to go it will be without bank cards and with a small budget. 

Hi Claire.

Yes there is a way out to serenity but it runs deep. Its about finding yourself again and a born again moment when you realise you are a good person and ther is plenty in life to be enjoyed.

Gambling thrives on lost souls. The hit of expectation becomes a drug and many people including myself gambled to experience some form of emotion as I was in a generally depressed state.

Gambling is not the answer to what you seek and bingo is no soft option because its a destructive habit which leads to full blown addiction....bit of fun?...its not really is it if you are being honest

You need to ask yourself what you were really getting from it and you need to write down what money were chucking at it.

I got a job in the hospitality industry which has really helped my loneliness. There are friends and activities out there but on your terms...dont go rushing to the nearest forced fun event and it will happen for you

I said it runs deep ...very deep. this is no shallow exercise in training yourself...its about finding out who you actually are and what makes you tick.

If you have gambling problem ,abstention is the only way. You dont need it in your life and there are better places for you to be. You get happy within yourself...ask yourself why you are bored at home and where you can meet new people in a nice environment.

You choose places where you can meet quality people...art classes craft courses or anything that takes your fancy. I found that working nights in the hospitality industry really brings me out of myself while Im earning and actually enjoying it.

you dont have to rush into friendships but you can find quality things to do.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum