Some of my worst times when I was gambling occurred over the Christmas period, particularly Xmas eve and Boxing day.
I would travel to the East Midlands on Xmas eve afternoon to meet friends with the plan to go back home on boxing day evening.
I would get a nice hotel for the few days and make sure I had enough money for my few days away. The problem for me was that I could never avoid walking into a bookies on Xmas eve and knowing that they closed earlier made me bingo gamble.
I would then go to my hotel having lost the money I had planned to spend on presents etc, my mood would change where I did not care about Xmas, I would put a brave face on over Xmas but honestly my heart was not in it because I had gambled away half of my December salary and knew I would have a long January ahead.
By boxing day I could not wait to get home and hide away, I lived alone so it was easy back then, this was about 2015/16.
On waiting to get my coach as their was no trains running I would pop in the bookies and waste more money where I was left with under £200 to last me over 35 days, I got through it but this was a cycle of went through for a long while.
Xmas for me was a scary time, I would watch people walking around with bags of presents, smiling, happy looking forward to the Xmas period, yet my life was gambling, it was me putting a brave face on yet knowing that I had let myself down, betrayed my self, my abilities and all the good work I had achieved in my life.
December 24th 2023 will be the first Xmas eve since in over 30 years where I will feel like other people, where I can buy presents, eat nice food, look myself in the mirror and it will not be a lie.
Please be careful over Xmas with your wages, you will be at your most vulnerable, think of your family, your job your future plans, but more importantly think of YOU.
Hi NoFunJustStop,
Thank you for sharing your timely post about Christmas. This Christmas sounds like a real turning point for you.
Best Wishes
Fiona
Forum Admin
Well said. This time of year is the most challenging time for people with this horrible addiction. Christmas 2022 was the start of all the upset again for me and I lost a ridiculous amount of money in the space of 2 weeks whilst being away from work. I realised I was out of hand back then but just tried covering myself up with lies and anger. Fast forward 1 year and I’m finally getting the help I needed. I was living in denial and just didn’t see an end to my addiction. Glad I reached out for help when I did. Stay positive 👍🏻👍🏻
@adam1995 that's good to hear Adam. Have to start front somewhere, If I can stop and it's been nearly 16 months now then anybody can. We can never beat the bookies or online etc, no systems or plans can beat them. It takes hard work and dedication.
Hi NoFunJustStop
I am really happy to hear that you have a nice Christmas in prospect and you totally deserve it my friend.
30 years of suffering, I know exactly what you're talking about as I gave 20 years of my life to this addiction. It's really scary when you think about it but, what's done is done, I cannot change it.
I like to say, I totally support your call to be careful over the festive period, as people feel a little high spirited and that is a recipe for us to feel and think that little gamble would be alright, I can control myself. We'll, we wouldn't be here if we did, no? Please, that is a totally distorted thinking for compulsive gamblers like myself. Once start, we can't stop, I can't stop, until everything I have disappears, and misery starts again. So, let's be careful and stay stopped.
I wish you and your loved ones all the best of everything.
Ergos
Happy Xmas @x05b3kedjt I have too admit I am totally skint until I get paid on the 20th but the great news is, that I have not gambled and I am now 777 days gamble free.
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I hope everyone else can get through this period without falling into old habits.
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dave101
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