Interested in feedback

I feel exactly the same. I would look forward to an evening of gambling on my phone and this would be exciting and i could deal with all the stresses of the world (even though i knew i would loose a few thousand!) its odd isn’t it!! I have been gamble free for 26 days now which is not long but i feel this emptiness. There is not much you can do i pressume just keep busy . I read a lot of stories on this site which helps me as i know i am not the only one grasped by this monster!! There are people who have wrecked their lives completely which gives me that insentive not to go to that place. That does sound selfish but because of their unfortune they have helped people like me to realise what i have and what i could loose!! Now you have gone this far don’t turn around keep going - 105 days is AMAZING well done

Thanks for that.There is no point in returning to the evil lair of betting as we will just end up in this boat again but in a worse position.I just want to stop but need to seek ways to offer myself fulfillment where I used to bet.There is lots of time to fill as I bet quite regularly.Wish you well and stay strong - there is no future in betting!

Hi! Gambling affects your mental health, so feeling a loss or down is natural. Be purposeful, do something rewarding that will give you back a sense of satisfaction. Make amends. Give yourself time to recover, the longer you gambled the longer to recover. Any day you don't gamble is a bonus.

I absolutely did go through what you describe & have to disagree with Poblwc...There is something you can do & keeping busy is little more than a very good block as it breaks the gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle.

As MGR says, a change of mindset is required! GA has given me the tools to do that & whilst I still have days when I feel exhausted, I am calm & grateful these days, incredibly relieved I did not get as sick as many people I have met throughout my journey. I haven’t replaced the excitement of gambling but living more honestly allows me to look back & see that that was little more than a fairytale anyway...I gambled for so long, it stopped being exciting, that’s just something I told myself so I could justify continuing! Speak to your GP, get counselling (GamCare provide this free) & find a support group such as GA...There are no miracle cures & willpower won’t cut it but a life without gambling can be incredibly fulfilling - ODAAT

Hi all

I agree with ODAAT that we developed an ill relationship with life and a change of mindset is required. Its no good saying nothing is as exciting. You just havent found the right things to do. Was gambling ever as exciting as you make out...it soon turns to addiction and Im not sure what I was craving but it wasnt really fun

I work in the hospitality industry now and people are having a nice meal and trip away from home travelling around the country.

I find that meeting new people is very uplifting.

Gambling was never the answer. you may well have been depressed or stressed. I have found that many people were gambling linked to depression and stress. Gambling was a temporary escape which actually made things worse just like a drug addiction.

My view is that we shouldnt get bored of life and there is no excuse for that. Its about keeping fulfilled with the simple pleasures in life.

Best wishes

As you and others allude to, you have a common gamber’s trait, of lacking meaning and purpose in life. So common, particularly amongst men.

And no! That’s doesn’t mean you need to find religion. But a life without meaning and purpose is hollow and you’ll always incline towards a sugar-hit: like gambling.

I’ve been on these boards years, and can objectively say that GA is clearly the most singularly effective way of getting meaning and purpose (and more I’m sure). So why not go? Some voice saying it’s not for you? You’re not THAT bad? The same voice which stops you from doing anything outside your comfort zone? Same voice that keeps your judgey world small.

There are alternatives. I do Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It’s mindfulness based but, importantly, involves living according to values. And achieving goals according to values. I write down specific goals and do them. As you go by, this process becomes more natural. But I still am at my best when I set clear goals and pursue them.

Can you turn into your fear that’s stopping you from living a fulfilling life? I realised that I was socially anxious and that I wasn’t getting the depth and warm of connection with others that I craved. This seems such a common thing on here it’s tempting to see this as an inherent addictive trait.

So now I’m focusing on learning the SKILLS to be more socially confident.

If you’re gambling you’ll have a confidence issue in some area. Address that! Challenge yourself. This is what gives you meaning and purpose.

And what ever your confidence deficit - know that you can learn the skills to overcome. But be honest with yourself, take a different approach, step outside your comfort zone, objectively a***s how you’re doing, adapt accordingly. Repeat. That’s the confidence cycle.

Louis

Hi

The adrenaline rush was very much fear based for me.

Some people call it the buzz.

The thing I found out once I abstained from gambling for some time was that my fears were still in me.

At this point in my recovery I understand that abuse I expereinced in my child hood caused fears in me that I did not understand.

Why did I fear being honest, well when I did some thing naughty I was asked to be honest and then once I was spunished fear of being honest grew in me.

The recovery program helped me open up to therapies.

As my therapies got deeper and more honest my fears reduced and my trust grew.

I now understand that the word recovery for me means healing.

All the time I was consumed by my addictions the fears were growing more in me.

Each time I came out of a gambling establishment It was a form of self abuse.

The more pain I caused my self the greater my fears grew.

I admit today I am a compulsive gambler. 

That being honest to my self no longer hurts or causes fears in me.

The more committed to my self I became the more I invested actions and words that mde me amuch healthier person today.

I am a non religious person, yet I am a more spirtual person.

The question is how much do I want to be ehalthy today.

How much effort am I willing to invest in to healing my hurt inner child today.

No one limits me today.

How much healthier do I want to be today.

Dave L