Pains in my life caused fears I did not understand, here is a list of fears I both wanted and needed to face.

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gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 
 
Hi
 
I decided to spent time and write down the number of my fears during my life time.
Fear of rejection and or abandonment, fear of telling the truth, fear of being accountable, fear of failure, fear of intimacy, fear of being let down, fear of fear of humiliation, fear of loneliness, fear of the dentist, fear of the doctors, fear of injections, fear of betrayal, fear of disappointing people, fear of what people thought of me, fear of speaking up for myself, fear of being the victim, fear of aggression and confrontation, fear of letting people down, fear of validating myself, fear of taking a compliment, fear of the doctors, fear of the opposite s*x, fear of being committed, fear of Christmas, fear of Tax time, fear of writing my needs my wants and my goals, fear of writing down the pain and abuse I experienced in my life, fear of writing down injuries to my body, fear of writing down the emotional abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the physical abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the sexual abuse I experienced, fear of being myself, fear of my failings, fear of guilt shame regret remorse, fear of therapies, fear of being a loner, fear of setting boundaries, fear of having a voice to stand up for myself, fear of strangers, fear of healing my pains, fear of being a victim, fear of not making it, fear of people faces when they got to know me.
 
This list seems impossible looking at them in one lump.
Fear restricted me; fear froze me in the traumas of my past.
 
I took my worst fear, the 10 out of 10 and I asked myself what is the very worst that can happen.
Only once I was willing to accept the very worst that could happen would the level of my fears reduce.
How many times, how many years have we feared the Tax man, or the tax period, it is the same fear year after year, then I decide to put money in each month to cover payment to the tax man, which reduces my fears.
 
Then the reaction to the paper work and being accountable, I store all the data I have in a safe place, then each year just enter new date on paper work and fill it in and save it, give it a new name and I am up to date, it is fear of getting some wrong, this changes with practice and if I get wrong number incorrect there is some one going to beat me it just gets corrected.
 
I understand that if I am willing to face my fears, ask myself if the worst that happens am I will to accept that fact, my fears are reduced.
 
My fears se to be ten out of ten now my fears reduced to single numbers.
Why what reason would I want to live in fear today.
 
For me my fears were disabling me in so many ways.
 
My fears of emotional intimacy stopped me from having close healthy realtionships with other people and with myself.
 
How many people fear asking for help.
 
How many people fear being them self.
 
How many people fear admitting they were hurt as children.
 
How many people fear being honest.
 
How many people fear letting people know they are emotionally vulnerable.
 
Love and peace to every one.
 
Dave L
 
AKA Dave of Beckenham
 
Posted : 22nd November 2022 4:28 pm
(@nanof14)
Posts: 5
 

Wow! You have laid yourself bare. I congratulate you. Seeing that each one of us on here is living much the same existence,  you have put it all in to prospective for me. Our fears are our biggest burden, but you have found realistic ways to reduce,  and deal with them. 

I'll be taking a little of your solutions to live work and love and move forward in my own journey to being free from this addiction.

Good luck with your journey and Thank you so much 

Best wishes 

Nanof14  xx

 
Posted : 23rd November 2022 8:46 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@nanof14 

Hi

Living in fear and pains of our past we are cheating our self from a healthy life today.

Thank you

 

Dave L

 
Posted : 24th November 2022 11:26 am
(@brentleybrooks)
Posts: 1
 
Posted by: @gadaveuk
 
Hi
 
I decided to spent time and write down the number of my fears during my life time.
Fear of rejection and or abandonment, fear of telling the truth, fear of being accountable, fear of failure, fear of intimacy, fear of being let down, fear of fear of humiliation, fear of loneliness, fear of the dentist, fear of the doctors, fear of injections, fear of betrayal, fear of disappointing people, fear of what people thought of me, fear of speaking up for myself, fear of being the victim, fear of aggression and confrontation, fear of letting people down, fear of validating myself, fear of taking a compliment, fear of the doctors, fear of the opposite s*x, fear of being committed, fear of Christmas, fear of Tax time, fear of writing my needs my wants and my goals, fear of writing down the pain and abuse I experienced in my life, fear of writing down injuries to my body, fear of writing down the emotional abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the physical abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the sexual abuse I experienced, fear of being myself, fear of my failings, fear of guilt shame regret remorse, fear of therapies, fear of being a loner, fear of setting boundaries, fear of having a voice to stand up for myself, fear of strangers, fear of healing my pains, fear of being a victim, fear of not making it, fear of people faces when they got to know me.
 
This list seems impossible looking at them in one lump.
Fear restricted me; fear froze me in the traumas of my past.
 
I took my worst fear, the 10 out of 10 and I asked myself what is the very worst that can happen.
Only once I was willing to accept the very worst that could happen would the level of my fears reduce.
How many times, how many years have we feared the Tax man, or the tax period, it is the same fear year after year, then I decide to put money in each month to cover payment to the tax man, which reduces my fears.
 
Then the reaction to the paper work and being accountable, I store all the data I have in a safe place, then each year just enter new date on paper work and fill it in and save it, give it a new name and I am up to date, it is fear of getting some wrong, this changes with practice and if I get wrong number incorrect there is some one going to beat me it just gets corrected.
 
I understand that if I am willing to face my fears, ask myself if the worst that happens am I will to accept that fact, my fears are reduced.
 
My fears se to be ten out of ten now my fears reduced to single numbers.
Why what reason would I want to live in fear today.
 
For me my fears were disabling me in so many ways.
 
My fears of emotional intimacy stopped me from having close healthy realtionships with other people and with myself.
 
How many people fear asking for help.
 
How many people fear being them self.
 
How many people fear admitting they were hurt as children.
 
How many people fear being honest.
 
How many people fear letting people know they are emotionally vulnerable.
 
Love and peace to every one.
 
Dave L
 
AKA Dave of Beckenham

this is very good

 

 
Posted : 27th November 2022 11:31 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@nanof14 

Hi thank you for your comments.

It is very powerful when we heal our pains and move on from our past.

Dave L

 
Posted : 28th November 2022 6:03 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@nanof14 

Hi

Honesty helps us open up more.

By reducing our fears our trusts grow.

Recovery and healing is helped us by being honest with our self frist of all.

We identify a fear, give it a number out of ten.

Then over some time see if that fear reduces.

As each fear reduces the chance of panic reduces.

Hence people do not understand some of the steps more so on step 4.

Fear of being honest and open with another like minded recovery person.

Follow your instincts in learning to trust some one.

Recovery is very much about nurturing and encouragements.

Thank 

Dave L

 
Posted : 31st January 2023 10:12 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@brentleybrooks 

Hi

It is only by writing down and facing each fear we can do some thing about them.

Our fears restrict us in so many ways.

Our unhealthy fears restrict us from having healthy intimate relationships with our self and with other people.

Love and peace

Dave L

 
Posted : 15th February 2023 9:32 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@nanof14 

Hi thank you for your feed back.

Being open and honest becomes so simple for me.

By reducing each one of my fear my trust grows and my intimacy grows more healthy.

To be your self with out a single fear is enlightening.

Our honesty helps us become ehalthier and be able to be our self.

 

Thank you again.

 
Posted : 16th March 2023 5:57 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@brentleybrooks 

Thank you for your comment.

Dave L

 

 
Posted : 5th December 2023 2:29 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

Hi

What is fear related, anxiety stress guilt shame regret being honesty and the highest level of my fears was panick.

Sadly when my fears were at their highest I could not think clearly.

Yet for me our fears were a consequence of our pains not healed or not resolved.

My fears were a reaction to my pains.

My fears disabled me from living a healthy life.

My fears disabled me from having a healthy intimacy life.

Love peace and healing.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 

 

 
Posted : 7th February 2024 10:17 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@nanof14 

THank you for your reply and feed back.

 

Dave L

 
Posted : 13th February 2024 5:55 am
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
Topic starter
 

@brentleybrooks 

Thank you 

The last thing I want to do today is go back to that very unhealthy self destructive life.

From our sharing and our healing we learn to take better care of our self.

I do not want to go back living in fear any more.

Thank you for sharing with me.

Dave L

 
Posted : 13th February 2024 5:58 am
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