Hi
I like many people did not think that I would ever stop gambling as I felt it controlled my life.
I felt by walking in to the recovery program it was going to control my life.
The recovery program was never going to control my life, it was going to help me make much healthier choices.
There are many words used in the wording of recovery bad good right wrong and for me this did not help me face my self.
To understand that in recovery I would make much healthier choices, exchanging my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Once I gave up my focus from talking about gambling money lost or making excuses.
To talk about how I am feeling today.
To talk about how much feeling of fear affected me today.Â
To talk about how much feeling of frustrations affected me today.
So once I abstain from addiction or obsessions I get more focused on my self and my well being.
So once I abstain from addiction or obsessions then that means I am not causing my self or others any pain today.
So once I abstain this is the time that I start to heal my pains and reduce my fears.
In recovery I would open up and expose more of my self emotionally.
In therapy I would reduce my fears and increase my trust but woud also get in tomore intimacy which aids our healings from the past.
Secrets are fear based.
My lies and secrets are fear based.
I am a non religious person and over time understood that deep down I am a very healthy person.
My conscience caused me lots of pains when I went against my own healthy conscience.
Once emotional intimacy starts in the meetings the next step is healthy emotional intimacy with family and friends.
I understand that I can heal my pains.
I understand that I am unable to heal other peoples pains.
Only once I have empathy for my hurt inner child could I have empathy for others.
Being consumed by my addictions and obsessions indicated that I was not able to listen to my own healthy conscience.
What is important is that healthy emotional intimacy plays a big part of my hurt inner child not living in fear any more and also aids in the healing of our pains.
In my life I understood that we have unhealthy reactions to people places adn things.
In my life I understood that I moved from unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.
Healthy interactions are part of healthy intimacy and much healthier relationships with my self and other people.
My long term fears disabled me in so many ways.
My long term fears disabled me from having fulll healthy intimacy with my self and other people.
My long term fears disabled me from fulfilling my needs my wants and my goals.
The more time and effort I put in to my recovery the sooner I found a much healthier life.
Healing Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
That's a long time dave to have a hurt inner child 38 years what age did you start attending gamblers anonymous meetings
@g3y6a5jbds Hi
I walked in to recovery in the early 1970s
It took me about 20 years to fully understand that the addiction was just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.
It was important to understand each of my emotional triggers.
And to do things for healthy reasons.
I use to feel so lonely inadequate inept and insecure.
Lying was a very unhealthy habit.
Once my healing started there was no holding me back from having amuch healthier life.
The only person who restricted me waas my self.
 I even sat my electronics papers and was willing to tear them up with out even looking at them.
Yes in others we see how unhealthy we use to be.
Then is others I saw who I could become the choice was all mine.
Dave L
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