Unhealthy relationship with money

Hi

I could not be trusted with money on my person.

The money was the fuel that I used to escape my emotional vulnerability.

Having small amounts on my person helped me value money.

Once we stop reacting to our emotional triggers money becomes less vulnerable to us.

How many people think that huge amounts of money will make us feel succesful in our self.

In recovery I found that new skills and making healthier achievements in my life made me feel succesful in my self.

Money never made me gamble.

How do we measure our successes in our life today.

Just for today I will not gamble, that is the start of stopping self abuse on our self and others.

Healing Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

This sounds so like me. I’m very frugal and extremely financially literate.

As such I like to do casino promotions where I have a mathematical edge partnered with low variance games.

Over time I can make good profits from this pursuit, even if it’s far from a ‘get rich quick’ scheme. It might be £10 one day, £30 the next and maybe the odd day where I just break even. It probably averages £40 to £50 per day. But, sooner or later I get cocky - it’ll often be a big win that does it, especially after I’ve done a couple more spins than I should have. Or, I might go back to my elaborate ‘system’ whereby I gradually tier up my stakes the longer I go without a big win so that when I do win it’s much bigger. Obviously that could fail instantly but a good amount of the time there’ll be big wins that put me in to good profit. So  I’ll keep going and get cockier. I might and up thousands ahead. But rather than withdrawing some I’ll just set a floor in my head that I’ll go on to ignore and by the time I’m way off my high water mark and doing £10 spins (having started on 10p spins) I’m ’all in’ and nothing will stop me going until I lose all of my winnings, all my money in that account and sometimes I’ll even go full tilt and empty some of my other casino accounts. So, all that grinding away to earn £40 or £50 per day doing promotions but within boundaries has gone out the window and I’m back to square one. I tell myself I’ll never do it again and ‘slow and steady wins the race’. I can stick to it 98% of the time but it’s the other 2% that’s the problem. Instead of making money from it I make barely anything… maybe £100 per month - while people I know are making £1k+… and it’s way more fun than doing surveys and way less effort/brainpower needed than digital marketing. I just wish I had a way for my autistic/logical brain to be in full control of my ADHD brain… like I said, it’s the 2%. 

Hi 

Money was just the fuel for my addiction.

Money represents time I had to work for.

Money gives us more choices in life.

Money was never going to heal my pains.

Money was never going to make me healthy spirtually.

If I did not respect myself I was not going to respect money or other people.

Healthy relationships are based up on healthy spirtual values, healthy intimacy, healthy fearlessness, healthy honesty.

Money was never going to buy healthy relationships.

Money was never going to buy serenity peace or healing of my pains.

Dave L