Hi everyone,
I have a slightly different problem. My boyfriend has been gambling for almost a year now. He keeps it a secret from me but doesn't hide it well, so I know it's most days and hundreds of pounds for each bet. I talked to him about it a couple of months ago and he brushed it off while assuring me he had stopped. (he hasn't)
The problem is- he isn't losing money. Yet. I genuinely feel incredibly lost. There is no major debt or financial crisis so I can tell he's incredibly confident about it. So I feel like an over-reacting fool getting upset while he's not losing money.
But it's the lying by ommision and the pattern of behaviour that is upsetting me. Surely a winning streak must end at some point?
I don't know what to do at all!! I was tempted today to go onto his account and self-exlude him, but I couldn't stand the argument that would follow...
You say he isn't losing money.....but are you sure about that?
us addicts can be extremely secretive and deceitful at times therefore there may be income streams you are not aware of!
the nature of compulsion makes it almost impossible not to be in debt as the figures aren't important, it's the buzz from the bet itself!
if he isn't in debt, then you are lucky and you need to stop it as he will become in debt.
good luck with your decisions!
Hi- Thanks for the advice.
It's true- I don't really know what's going on financially- all I can see is what goes into this website and what comes back out.
I feel VERY powerless and would so love to stop this now before it goes any further. I agree with some of the other posts I've read on here- its feels a lot like he's having an affair and it's very upsetting.
I wish I knew how to stop it!
I think if you confront him about it and ask him to be truthful, open and honest about his gambling that is not unfair.
If he is objective to that I would start to wonder if he is indeed winning.
It's quite easy to run up a debt into the thousands without anyone knowing but if you are happy he is telling the truth I don't see any harm in fluttering £100's IF he can afford to lose it.
If not then it is a problem that will eventually end up in debt unless he's extremely lucky.
All relationships are based on trust and honesty so it's the least you can expect, from there you can probably work out quickly whether his gambling is a problem.
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