We have a son who for the last two years has been gambling, on the football, casino, horses, rulette on the phone, computer and bookies. We have bailed him out on a number of occasions and finally will not bail him out again. We are in the proccess of getting him councelling through Break Even. He has been getting loans and pay day loans to feed his addiction. He suffers from depression, dosn't eat properly or sleep properly because he is so down. We have looked at the does and don'ts but we ourselves are suffering with worry about his situation, even though he knows. We are worried about him losing his job because of him feeling down and worried that it may be effecting his work and that his bosses may pick up on it and give him ultimatums. We dont know what to do. Do other parents feel like this.
I cannot advise you but didn't want to see your post unanswered!
I am the product of a gambler & after many years of anger & frustration @ my mother who refuses to accept she has a problem, I myself have sought help after over 2 decades of my own self destruction. My partner supported me & gave me the strength to want to, I wish I could do that for my Mum 🙁 All the reading in the World will tell you, you can love him & support your boy with every inch of your being but it is he that must want to fight this illness! Let him know you are trying to understand that it is gambling that changes good people & that he is loved!
Beyond that I have nothing but I will wish upon a star for you tonight that he sees the light & accepts your help.
Hi Chuffa,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for your post.
It must be a very difficult and frustrating time for you and your family, having to watch your son go through his problematic gambling, and I do empathise with your situation a lot. I also think that your feeling about the whole situation is not much different from what other parents do experience.
It’s good that you have gathered courage to post about this in the forum; continue to use it for more support and advice.
What is important now is for you to try and encourage your son to contact us for help and support. Gamcare can offer him advice on strategies and boundaries to help him overcome his problematic gambling. We can also offer him 12 sessions of free counselling if he thinks that would help him to control/ stop his gambling.
Like the forum member - ODAAT said, your son should want and be ready to quit gambling, and also accept the help you’re trying to offer him in order to make the necessary change to his gambling life. If he does, then there is a lot of help and support here at Gamcare for him but, in the absence of this, it would be rather difficult to stop his gambling habit. The actual change must come from him.
Perhaps it would be advisable for your son to go for Self Exclusion from all the bookies/ casinos that he gambles from. Also, he can install one of the following internet blocking software on his computer and mobile phone to stop him from accessing gambling sites. They are:- Gamblock, Betfilter, and Net Nanny. Both of you should read about all of them, and he must choose the one that he thinks would give him maximum benefit.
In case you require further help and information, don’t hesitate to contact us via our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our specially trained advisers. Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.
Thanks again for your post, and pls. keep posting.
Best wishes,
Beatrice
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