Hi All
I'm very straight to the point person and I was the same with my brother.
Very recently I realised my brother has a gambling problem. I estimate this has been going on for roughly 2 years but could have been longer. Just a month ago he moved back to my house, few days ago I found my wallet empty, putting things together made it clear - gambling.
He is now sleeping on the street for a week, first - recent salary after moving back to London went to Casino, hence why he went into my own wallet.
How I can get some kind of court order or whatever way to:
- force him to go to therapy
- ban him from casinos
- get his salary to my account, leaving him pocket money
- manage his debt, installements and speak to loan providers on his behalf
Providing that he keeps his job, i'm sure I can straighten up his financial situation within 1.5 years and if i see "good will" from his end then I can afford to help financialy, however at the moment I can't do anything, in fact I'm not willing to because I know it will be pointless.
Probably I'm harsh and ruthless c..... but in this case I think the best way is to cut the s..... before it goes too far. Anyway 20k is a lot already.
Hi,
Sorry to see what’s happening but the harsh reality is that you’re not the one placing the bets therefore you’re not the one who can stop placing the bets. The only person who can make your brother stop betting is him.
Actually your brother is an adult, not an irresponsible toddler and his recovery from his addiction depends on him taking ownership of his problems. Similarly bailing him out is simply a means of giving him what he needs to use, that is, to get his next fix so as to feed his addiction. Alcoholics use drink, gamblers use money.
You can’t march in and sort his life out for him. The question for you to consider is, why do you want to? What is it in you that needs someone to sort out?
Best to keep your focus on you, on learning how to live your life regardless of what he’s doing, on learning how to support (if he wants it) without enabling, on learning where he ends and you begin, on learning not to take on his burden but just yours, on learning to how look at you and what’s your responsibility.
Try GamAnon meetings, you’re not alone with this problem, it’s a well trodden path. But your answers lie in you, not your brother.
CW
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