Day 439.
Two years Monday gone since we lost my lovely nephew - my sister’s son 💔💙. Cannot believe we have been without him for this long already. Something none of us will ever get over 😥. His Dad took us all out to a lovely restaurant for lunch on Monday so it was nice just to all be together and remember/talk about him. He was a total gentleman through and through. Forever in our thoughts Rich 💙.
I had my check in with my line manager on Wednesday. She informed me that my contract with the Home Office/Passport Office, has been further extended until 30th September 👌. This is good news, given that originally, it was only until March of this year. Some permanent positions have also come up so I have completed the initial test, passed that, which allowed me to complete the personal statement part. Just waiting now to see if I get an interview 🤞🙏🙏🙏.
Off to my nieces with my sister this afternoon for a girly afternoon/sleepover. Filled with nibbles, champagne and chocs, courtesy of me!😊. Then I am treating everyone to a Lebanese takeaway this evening to christen my niece’s wonderful, new, amazing kitchen/dining extension they have had built at the back of their house 👌👏👏👏👏. Again, it is so nice to just have the money sitting in one of my savings pots to be able to treat everyone and not have to worry whether or not I can afford this.
To those of you new on here and struggling. Please read through some diaries, especially positive ones. I was once in your shoes - spending my income, the minute it hit my account. Up all night trying to chase my losses. Then going into work the following day with no sleep, pretending all was ok but in reality, not having a penny for a whole month until payday came around, only to repeat the cycle 🙈😱.
When I think back to all this, the physical and emotional stress I put myself through was unbelievable and even more important, totally unnecessary! Just typing this fills me with fear and dread and I am glad that revisiting this time of my life still makes me feel this way.
So for all you new people on here, I want to make it very clear that as long as you remain g.f, committed and determined to stop giving all your hard earned money to those rich gambling establishments , your emotional and physical wellbeing (as well as your finances) will all greatly improve. I can assure you of that 👌.
Take care all and make your weekend a good one.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Great news about the job extension Pink Lady that's amazing news 👏 👏 👏 👏 hope the Lebanese was a tasty treat!
You continue to do amazing and are definitely a key person in these forums for keeping my own journey feel reachable and alive. Thank you 🙂
Day 446.
It’s a hot one today!!🔥🌞. Stay hydrated everyone 😎.
Had my tooth implant fitted last Monday. After a whole year and more of trying various treatments and over £1,000 spent trying restorative treatment which ultimately did not work, the implant is now in place. Now got to wait another three months to have the two teeth attached!! 🥴.
It was such a lovely feeling however, when the receptionist asked for my next payment charge of £1,000 and I tapped my phone onto the system for it to come straight out of my bank account 👌. I felt quite proud of myself.
Took the Monday and Tuesday off as annual leave and now on more antibiotics until Monday. Will be glad to be done with them!
Just a relaxing weekend for me which is just as well as it is so hot. Will watch the tennis from Queens and then take a nice walk out with my sister tomorrow afternoon.
Take care all and stay safe.
”April fools - no more the fool”!
(I realised I have forgotten to add my mantra to my last few posts)!🙃.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Thats amazing Pink Lady just shows by simply not gambling life is a million time better and it will continue to get better i thought i was the only one seeing these extreme changes i was lossing around 80% off my salary now that am not in debt i keep asking myself why didnt i come on here sooner my issue was i hated spending money and used gambling as an excuss to buy stuff which rarely happened so i was always chasing previous lossses now that i see how my life is going and been given the right advice everything going according to plan i already did it before so i knew it was possible to remain gamble free however i didnt make any changes and was told not to transfer the addiction over which turned out to work against me had i remained gamble free i would have been in perfect position by now
Just joined this forum and wanted to say congratulations. I empaphise with your feeling of how good it actually feels to be able to buy things and live life instead of wasting all your money watching reels spinning round.
I have been in the position, many years ago, when the FOBT roulette was big stakes in bookies, of walking back and forth 2 miles to work for a week as I had no money for petrol and just pasta and sauce in the cupboard. By using all the tools available I can now not gamble unless I do a 4 hour round trip, and online gambling has never interested me.
I do have the occasional lapse when I visit towns a long way off (rarely), but the pain of the past has taught me some restraint and it is normally only around £50 (still feel like I have let myself down though).
Good luck with the job, one would hope that as you are temporary staff at the moment you will have enough knowledge of the business to get a headstart.
@mg43i8s0te Thank you so much Terminator. The early days can be tough but what I also found was that they can also bring about a sense of calm, no stress and much more sleep!
I wish you well in your recovery and I will follow your progress on your diary.
🩷🍎.
@j5a6meyr4z Thanks Pink Lady, I know this sounds trite, there is no real recovery for me in as much as I have had steps in place for some considerable time to make it almost impossible for me to gamble in bookies and arcades within a 4 hour round trip, and I am in the fortunate position of having no interest at all in online gambling - it has always seemed to me to be the definition of rock bottom sitting on the couch in your front room gambling on your TV screen orr phone. The trips to the bookies were more of a social outlet, although they are the least social places in the world so it was a weak justification.
Do I still gamble, yep sometimes, but over the last 6 months it has probably been around 3 times when visiting somewhere far off, and I carry a limited supply of money (£50) and no cards with me.
The bug will always be there, but it is about understanding it and controlling it, although clearly abstaining is the nirvana. On the plus side I don't drink or smoke !
A nice read Pinky. Not the fact that you are spending thousands, but the fact you can spend thousands and be happy and proud doing it. Hopefully you recoup that money through not gambling soon and can treat yourself to something more exciting than some teeth 🤣
Hope you enjoyed the tennis!
Stay strong 👍
@p6z38njbqm Thanks Fish 🐟. Yes, it is a lot of money but I am good at not dwelling on stuff like this AND I do treat myself on other stuff now on a regular basis. No longer gambling allows me to do this!👌💪. Yes, as ever, I enjoyed the tennis!🎾. Just gutted I won’t be able to take annual leave for the second week of Wimbledon to be glued to the live action as and when it is happening 😭. Will just have to set up a series link and binge watch when I get home from work each evening!🤓
Hope you are keeping well and will be nice to read your next update as ever.
Take care.
🩷🍎.
Thats amazing Pink lady just shows how life can change for the better i was just talking about how much i have left till pay day just over £220 to last me a week for food which i know i wont be able to spend it all and i will end up treating myself to something else it one of the perks to not gambling seeing others seeing a change keeps me focused to stay clean👍
@tazman How lovely Taz 👌👏👏. It just feels so nice to be able to purchase things - no matter how small and not have to give a second thought about “have I got the money in my bank account for this”? The longer we distance ourselves from gambling, the healthier our finances will become/remain 👍💪.
Take care.
🩷🍎.
@j5a6meyr4z it amazing the issue with me personally even though i was 3 years bet free i didnt see a financal benefit as i wasent spending not treating myself i had a belief i had to get it from somewhere i realised i had to change my perception i believe this was a huge trigger for me and when i relapsed it all went back to the gambling industry now that am seeing value in everything am actually afraid which i never was before i dont know if it a good thing but im constantly on here it become like a new addiction the crazy thing now i actually enjoy doing alot of stuff which i never did before never interested me i dont know if it the gambling thoughts playing with me it dont actually many any sense
@tazman Try not to think too deeply about it all Taz but just continue to enjoy your g.f days. 💪👌.
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