Eleven years later and still gambling

I hear you.

Your son comes first, along with yourself now. I understand you dont feel like living when you dont have a life, but there is a life waiting for you, there is a real world out there, can you come to a gamanon meeting? Maybe get some counselling through the links here? I know we think its our gamblers that need the help, but its us too, you dont have to live like this and there is help to escape it. Your marriage doesnt have to end, but I feel its too much to ask of a partner to bear the burden alone like you are, there is help and freindship from people that understand out here.

Keep posting

Hi debs3,

So sorry that you have to go through all this pain because of your husband's gambling. Pangolin is right, though, you don't have to bear this burden alone. There is support out there for partners, whether through GamAnon, or through one of our partner agencies providing you with individual support and counselling. It's not right for you to have to suffer due to his actions, and at this point it's definitely time to make yourself and your son the priority.

Please do what you need to do to get some support. You really can have a more peaceful life, but you'll have to take some action to achieve that. We'd be happy to speak to you if you'd like and maybe discuss some options with you. We're available on the Helpline and the Netline from 8am to midnight every day.

Hang in there, debs, there are a lot of people wishing you success.

Travis

I wish I had the strenght to deal with this yet again, but I fear not, I have become a prisoner in my own home because of the shame of telling people how well my husband had been doing - and now its all lies - how can you live in a relationship based on lies - I dont know anymore. Its all very well saying this is an illness but its not, you still choose to do it - you dont choose to have cancer, diabetes etc - and then there is the cant get help wont get help issue.

Why is it only the partners and family who suffer - the others just offload and think everything will be ok!!

I am a lost and broken person - trying to get the courage to even step outside the front door!!

Hi
Debs

What is his reluctance to attend GA? You are right in that you dont deserve the life that has been forced upon you by his addiction. You too have choices & you must protect yourself & your children first & foremost. Addiction is an emotional illness no it isnt cancer but its effects on the addict & the people around them are just as devastating. Yes your husband has choices he just doesnt know it yet many never do. GA will give him choices it will give him solutions if he just gives it his full commitment

You would need to ask my husband why he wont accept GA help - he appears to know best. Anyway, after waking up to another bleak dark day, I have made the decision to divorce him, I dont have any other option left now. This isnt just a one off or two or three times, its hundreds over 11 eleven years, I dont think anything will make him stop, and I dont want to care for a person who has no thoughts love or respect for his family.

I will be thinking of you, hoping you can be somewhere where you feel secure soon, i know that when i started to tell family and friends (what were left of them) how bad things had got, i felt like a huge burden had been lifted and the support i had from them gave me so much hope, such a contrast after years of living with a gambler.

How you getting on debs?

Hi Debs,

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. How are things? How are you doing? Gamblers don't realise the damage they are doing to their partners emotionally, mentally and physically. It always seems to be about them.