Feeling Lost and Alone

Hi Cazkell and Fi

Venting here or anywhere really is good for both of you. The bonus to venting here is that you are both among friends (although anonymous), who do care and can relate to what you are both going through.

Fi... It is quite amazing how people can accept that a person has an alcohol or drug addiction, BUT mention a gambling addiction and invariably they say... "why don't you just stop?". Simple isn't it? They understand how difficult it is to wean somebody off alcohol or drugs, but cannot understand that a compulsive gambler faces similar problems. 🙁

Cazkell...I believe selfishness to be part of the disease of gambling, and also part of the solution. We are very selfish as gamblers,as you are now all too aware. During our recovery, especially early on, we CG's have to be selfish. We have to focus on beating the addiction, otherwise it will literally destroy us. That being said, it doesn't excuse his indifference to how you are coping. I also think that you have to be selfish during this period. Look after yourself. Talk to a friend or family member, go to Gamanon or counselling, come on here and have a chat or a rant. You can both help each other thru this, but the priority has to be number one in both cases.

Take care

Thanks Wal, you are absolutely right.

So this morning I read yet another article about codependency but this was a bit different to others I've read so far... Here's the link if it's of any help to anyone else... http://mindfulconstruct.com/2010/07/09/end-a-codependent-relationship-the-healthy-way/

Obviously, as much as I realise that I am not responsible for my husbands addiction, I have had to take a long hard look at myself over the past 10-11 days since it all blew up and I asked him to leave. I know that I have been codependent and I even understand why. I have already made a shift within myself and as you say Wal been putting myself first, talking and arranging to get help with my own stuff. I did however think that we needed to separate in order to do this, after reading this article I now see that it's possible to experience this whole recovery in a completely different way.

We are meeting to talk and see how we can move forward with some clarity, firm boundaries and a certain amount of selfishness!!

I'll keep you posted and thanks again

C

Hi Cazkell

I have a family member who has an addiction to alcohol. Try as I might, I can't get it into this persons head that you have to look after number one! By tackling the addiction we are not only helping ourselves ( which must be our priority) but we are also helping our loved ones... simply because they will be able to see our progress in recovery and ease their worries about us. 😉

Happy to hear that you have made progress and are looking out for yourself. He is on his journey, the end result is entirely up to him in reality. You have to try and keep yourself sane and healthy. You aren't the one who is sick, so don't make yourself so.

Take care

I am Shure that you doing right thing.I have a same situation I sort the debts out and set up a repayment plan so I'm happy is bit less worries to think about.But he need to want to quit!