Hi all
I have mother who is a gambling addict and it's exhausting. It started before I was born, but the past few years it has been escalating
Last year she was in trouble because she borrowed loads of money from her colleagues, she confessed because she was desperate for money, and we even managed to get her to counselling. She swore she was getting better and working hard to pay the debts off.
This year she took it to another level and stole money from work to fund her gambling habit. Again came calling, swearing she would change crying her eyes out, asking how I could be so cold hearted and not help her, talking about what a tough and s**t life she has and that she would be out on the streets or in jail of we didn't help her. I almost caved, but my brother was stronger, we laid the condition that she needed to talk to the company first.
Luckily her manager/owner was kind enough to front up the money she stole and she's now paying it back through deductions from her wages.
But when she refused to get a self ban from casinos, accusing us of pushing her into a corner, it was gut wrenching because I knew it meant she was already thinking about the next time she could go again because the immediate crisis had been solved.
She's been having her wages deducted for a month now.
This week she said she needed money to buy clothes, and that we would go together and I said okay, but that the left over money I would keep hold of. I agreed with her manager that she could take the wages this time.
We were meant to go clothes shopping Monday, she called today yo say she couldn't because one of her debtors asked for the money that she owes, and she had to give it all to him.
I'm pretty sure she's lying, I'm pretty sure she took the money and gambled it all away. It's the way that she told me the story.
I'm just tired and I don't want to confront her over it. I thought getting to the point where she might almost lose her job and go to jail would stop her from being so reckless.
My mum is a liar, I can't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth, if she has money in her hand she will gamble it. She stacks lies on lies, even when she confessed to me about stealing the money, she told a lie about the excuse she had made to her boss. Why even lie about that?
Is there even any point in confronting her, what would unmasking her lie do?
I can't see any end to this. She refuses to go back to counselling. She told me she'd fed lies the counselor anyways.
I don't know what else we can do but manage this disease for now, gradually clear her debts, but once they are cleared, and she gets her hand on her wages again she'll hit the casino until there is nothing left
Kay, I don't know how old you are or how independent your are ie. a job, your own place? If at all possible it could be best to go on with your own life and get some counseling yourself because of all you've had to deal with. Compulsive gamblers like your mom, we are here in numbers and you can read the stories so that you can see that your mom is not a single ship in the ocean. As with all addictions. . . It's better for friends and loved ones to care but to take care of themselves first and formost. tara2
Hi tara2 thanks for responding. Luckily I don't live with her so at least I can mentally forget about it once in a while, but I don't want to cut off relations completely. I want to at least make sure she's paid back all her debts.
Well today and called me and said my father has accused her of stealing money the money that he'd hidden away. She says she hasn't and started acting all hurt, but frankly, there is no one else in the house who could have or would have done it. Although there is a small possibility my dad forgot where he put it, buy that's unlikely.
I need to give up on hoping that she will change now
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