Hi so just following on from my last post. My partner of 20yrs together told me I was nagging him because I asked him to get more counselling and support. ( he stopped jan 22 but has relapsed every 4:5 months since and lied about it so clearly needs more support) he told me it was over and we were done because on my nagging.. I asked him to leave the family home with have two older boys still at home and he has now got himself a spare room and is moving 1st may . He is singing eating cooking sleeping and generally seems to have accepted it without a care in the world . I however, am devastated ( although I know it’s for the best ) I have been diagnosed with ptsd and depression because of this constant sickening rollercoaster of a warped relationship. (Constant lies cheating gaslighting) then tells me I’m crazy.. I’m hard to live with .. I nag and yet all I ever wanted was a loving truthful relationship with no drama and lies. He’s never been a good communicator and I’m sure he has autism..( likes routines no empathy never gets emotional..takes everything literally )I found a lump in my breast and all I got was oh I’m sorry to hear that?!?
he asked if I wanted him to come to the appointment but because of the way he broke up with me and seemed happy to leave his family I sed no. I drove to the hospital this morning on my own scared and also I only passed my test in December so quite a daunting day He went to work as normal and when I told him how much it hurt he sed well you didn’t want me there! He didn’t put up much of a fight though…but he never does he is so black n white and happy to leave it. I’m just so low that I’ve wasted so much of my life with this cold horrible man. He is so cold and has accepted it without a second glance. I’m now having to deal with the worry of cancer. Why haven’t I seen how vile and destructive this relationship was? I’ve been so stupid staying thinking I could help him . I’m broken .
Hi Normorelee
Sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this situation , I know it can be really upsetting and frustrating as an affected other going through this , there's always support and you are never alone.
Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.
All the best and take care .
Kirk
Forum admin
Hi
As an addict and obsessive person I thought life and realtionships were all control issues.
The hurt child is unable to live a healthy life today and the paisn of a persons life causes fear in us we do not fully understand.
An addict and obsessive person do not understand that they are emotionally vulnerable.
The GA Meeting are suppse to help people slowly heal their pains once they are able to abstain from unhealthy habits.
The GAMANON meeting are suppse to help people slowly heal their pains once they are able to be hoest in the rooms.
GAMANON people will often think their life was great before they met their addictive parter.
An addict will go to counselling and support once they reduce their fears and are honest with them self.
It takes time for the addict and obsessive person to get honest with them self and then even longer to be in meetings because they both need and want it to happen.
One can only love another person once they love them self.
One can only respect another person once they respect them self.
Sorry to hear that you found a lump in your breast.
An addict and obsessive person will put on a show and facade for them to hide behind in their fears.
When an addict and obsessive person is asked how they are they will often say I am fine or not so bad.
We all know it is a lie.
Because of the emotional truama a person has there tends to be a lack of emotional intimacy.
The longer an addict is consumed by his addictions and obsessions the longer it takes to heal the hurt inner child in us.
Once an addict and obsessive person understands their emotional triggers they can change their unhealthy reactions to pains fear frustrations loneliness and boredom.
I wish you well.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham.
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