Help dont know what to do feel so alone!

Hi Sacha, i'm so sorry that you are experiencing what you are my friend.

I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago, so my opinion comes from that perspective.

However bad the situation, and however bad his addiction is, there is no excuse for touching you physically and taking your money in front of you my friend - that is inexcusable; this affliction can make you say and do things which you never think you are capable of, but he has crossed the line here, and that is something that you can't let happen again.

You are not stupid, but there needs to be some immediate action here my friend. He has to realise that this cannot continue, and he has to seek help straight away, otherwise he will lose everything and everyone dear to him. I would tell him that you are prepared to help him, you are prepared to stand by him, but he will not get another penny from you and, if he tries to take your possessions by force, then you will have no choice but to involve his family and the police.

He has a serious addiction, but he also has a responsibility to get help for your sake if he values your relationship; there is nothing wrong with trying and failing, but there is something very wrong with someone who doesn't try at all. You can only help him so much my friend - it has to come from him.

If he doesn't get help and you feel threatened by him, then you have to question whether it is always going to be that way my friend; the good times only come when he is winning - do you really want to live that kind of life? Ask him to go to GA, explain that you will go with him; if he doesn't think he has a problem, then ask him to go with an open mind - he may see a lot of himself in what others say.

Please be careful and look after yourself my friend; he crossed a line as I said - that can never happen again and no-one should ever have to face it, especially from someone they love. People make mistakes, serious ones, but this is very likely to be only the beginning if he doesn't try to tackle this head-on.

JamesP

Hi Sacha,

Welcome to our Forum and well done for opening up about this private issue. I would like to re-enforce the advice given by JamesP and encourage you to be very firm with your boyfriend with your message that his behaviour is unacceptable and that you are not willing to put up with it. Regardless of the reasons he is behaving this way, there is no excuse.

Unfortunately, you cannot do anything to change him but can point out that he has a problem and that there is help for it. Do prioritise your needs and your safety, as he is an adult fully responsible for his actions.

If you need to talk to an adviser our lines are open from 8am until midnight every day of the week.

Take care,

Ana

Hi Sacha

Has the support helped?

Anything changed?

From a gamblers point of view talking helps sharing helps especially if its with the right people