husband gambled again

I have been with my husband for 10 years and we have a young daughter together. When we met, I was aware he gambled but it was probably not until we had been together for a few months that it was actually a problem for him. The first year we were together he gambled and it meant he couldn’t do anything for my birthday (despite the fact I’d really gone to town on his bday). And then he gambled again and I took it very seriously, I searched up on Googled all the things I could do to help him and over the years I have taken control of the finances (he now has his own bank account as I thought trust had been rebuilt) I have helped him set up counselling with gamcare and we put a block on his gambling. Some of the times he has gambled he has been compliant with this and other times he had said that he feels he can stop as he knows how much it breaks my trust. 

We got married 2 years ago and I feel up until that point it was the longest he had gone without gambling as we had bought our first house. I really felt he had turned a corner. However since then, probably about 3 times he has gambled again and only through him being shady about his phone and eventually confronting him have I discovered he was gambling again. He always says he gambles relatively small amounts (which is true compared to some of the posts I see on this forum) but I think that’s beside the point, it still has an affect on me and our daughter. 

fast forward to tonight, I asked him about money in his bank account as he had been acting really strange, initially he was argumentative and irritated saying I don’t trust him but eventually he admitted he had gambled £570. He said he had a plan to sort it out by using some app he had found which says they pay money if you use the apps. I said this was not the right way to repay the debt. I am absolutely devastated. In the past I have been all on board trying to make a plan to fix it for him and for us by making a plan to repay the money, getting him help etc but I just feel nothing. I feel like all the energy has been sapped away from me over the years. I truly felt when we had our house and our daughter that there would be more at risk than just our relationship. He is a fantastic dad, and although we have had struggles in our marriage he is a good partner and I wish to stay as a family but I feel like I’m just a door mat now and I feel like he won’t ever change and I will spend the rest of my life having this come up every few years. 

When I ask him why he says that I put pressure on him because I’m always stressed about money. I feel that I should be able to discuss my money worries with my husband without him going off to gamble and feel hurt that he would even use me as an excuse. 

I don’t really know where I am going with this post but I just wanted to lay it all out and express how I feel. I feel I can’t tell my family as I’m sure (even though they love him) that they would want me to leave. I feel guilty about making the right decision by my daughter, if I stay I don’t want her to feel this heavy burden as she grows up too but if I leave I hate to think of her being from a broken family. I’m at a loss as to what I can do. I’ve asked my husband what his solution is and he just gets irritable and shuts down but ultimately he just says that in the future he will try and talk to me before he loses control but he hasn’t done that so far. whilst I know there are probably a handful of solutions (gam stop, counselling, me taking control of finances) I just feel exhausted at the thought of this, I take on a lot of the household responsibility as it is and I stop and question ‘who is looking after me’