Husband gambling again

Hi lulubelle 

im so sorry to read this , this should not be happening.

call stepchange and talk to someone. I personally think that there should be some liability with the lender. Who can afford to repay that.

remember it’s his debt not yours. All monies are for living and the children, debts come last. He has to sort this out, he has to tell those so called friends he can’t repay it.

i learnt the hard way, helped pay debts etc for over 10 years and still he gambled. Eventually I learned to say ‘no. You sort it out. You have to tell those people you’re a gambler and you can’t repay’

thats the only way 

my husband finally relinquished money, lived just cash and receipts for a longtime.its only when they face what they have done will things change. 

get some support for yourself, call gamcare, go online find a meeting, anything but don’t face this alone.

Hi Lulubelle

So Sorry to hear you are going through this . I am very similar situation . My husband has gone 7 years now gamble free ( so he says anyway )and I found out 8 weeks ago that he has been gambling again for the last 12 months and 40k plus in debt . With credit cards so I wouldn’t find out . This is the third time now of finding out and Have helped bail him out the last 2 times ( with no acknowledgment or appreciation) and I refuse to help anymore . We are now  selling our house, I want a divorce  and have a 5 year old in my 40s  . I am absolutely devastated as I’m sure you will understand but there is a huge massive loud voice inside my head telling me to run for the hills ! I refuse to do this to myself anymore . It’s made me ill , paranoid, low self esteem, suicidal at times , lonely , scared .. the list is endless . BUT I have some inner strength this time and I am 💯 getting off this merry go round. I am here if you need any support. I could write a book about the last 11 years with this man . It’s not just about gambling it’s all the lies , deceit , manipulation. I literally am excited for the future without all of this drama ! Your not alone and I send you strength x 

Hi Lulabelle 

I totally feel for you, it’s a horrible way of living.  I have also been married for 20 years and have just found out my husband is gambling again, by opening a bank statement addressed to him.  17 years ago he had to declare himself bankrupt due to gambling debts, he vowed he’d never do it again… but here we are yet again.  This is the fourth relapse, to my knowledge and each time I have only found out when I have opened a letter.  He has found ways of borrowing money, which I would never have thought of.

I hate having to check bank accounts, open letters and constantly be on my guard.  He has sought help, but only after I have found out, it really is like a merry go round and one I am ready to get off. 

I have had counselling through Gamcare and so has my husband, but only after I have found out.  He has never sought help himself.  Each time he has promised he will never do it again and I mean more to him than gambling, but that is obviously another lie.  

I have finally had enough, I’m approaching 60 and it has left me with very low self esteem.  My advice would to seriously consider getting out now, I wish I had done it years ago.  

I hope you can get the help you need, Gamcare are so supportive and have really helped me.