I found out last week my husband has got into debt of £39,000 by throwing money at stocks and shares. We have been together since 2016, got married July this year. I found out he had been gambling again on our delayed honeymoon.
I knew he was a gambler, in 2016 i helped set him up a debt management plan to pay off £11,000 he cleared it earlier this year. Now we are having to go down the IVA process as im scared bankruptcy will affect the house.
I expected a lapse or two but never to this extent. We have a 1 and 3 year old and I just dont know what to do.
He is remorseful, will go to counselling and the GP but what about me? I am left to pick up the pieces of lies, dishonesty, manipulation and deceit, that he restarted when I was pregnant and had a baby, he let us get married without revealing the truth, He was even going to let me go part time without telling me.
I have made an appointment with my GP as I am so teary and low, i feel like our life is a lie and meaningless. My mental health is at a low ebb.
I now face a future of controlling the family finances, monitoring him constantly despite working full time and having 2 young kids, one of whom has special needs, I did say we will need marriage couselling but right now need to focus on ourselves. I just cannot understand how a relationship can last when one partner is so dependemt on the other? I'll never have a husband who surprises me (in a good way) or whisk me away somewhere nice.....honestly what do other do to make it work and feel any romance or desire because right now i can't think of a good reason to make it work except for the kids.
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