Hi All, this is my first post. So on Thursday evening my husband texts me to say he would be late home from work. There's nothing unusual in that due to the nature of his job. Anyway he gets home at around 7pm and he looks horrendous. He says he needs to talk to me and I was convinced that he had cheated on me. He then said that wasn't what it was, he had been suspended from work due to him stealing money. His work has suspended him and have called the police. I asked him why all this had happened and he admitted he was a gambling addict. I had no idea at all so you can imagine my shock. I asked him how much and it's over 10k. He had used it to pay off a few payday loans. Normally I would go off on one and start shouting but I was surprisingly calm. Anyway the next day the police arrived and arrested him which has got to be one of the worse things that I have ever experienced or witnessed. He has confessed to everything and has been charged. I am trying to keep it together for my son but I am really struggling. I cant bear to look at him but I'm trying to act normal. I haven't slept and hardly eaten. I phoned his parents who came over pretty much straight away and they have been great. Anyway, I am at my wits end. I have no idea what to do. I'm trying to take it one day at a time but it's difficult. I can't afford to pay £45 per counselling session so I really don't know where else to turn. Can anyone give me any advice please, I'm desperate. Thanks for your time.
Hey. ..I'm so sorry to read your story...I would ring gamcare asap...they will guide your through the process and will arrange free counselling for you and your hubby....it may also help help your husband's 'case' if he has been seen to be seeking help in the addiction....stay strong love...have you got someone close to talk to...don't bottle it up ...lots of other family and friends will be along here soon to support you...I wish you well x
Hi, FL,
Sorry to hear it. Can you and his parents get to a GamAnon meeting? There's a lot of useful literature, info and support and that's what you need. Also, read the stories on the forum.
Be very careful to protect your own financial interests. Get the £2 statutory credit reports from each of the credit reference agencies in your name and his so that you can check the state of the debt. Also, it's not recommended for you to pay anything off for him, or generally to rush to the rescue, it's better for him to experience the link between his gambling and the consequences. It's not toy money that he's been playing with.
Don't let this all be about him, you're having a terrible experience as well and you should get all the help and support to deal with it.
Take care,
CW
Hello FL
So sorry you have had this devastating experience. CW, Loxxie and Half Life have given you some great support and yes, we can offer you free counselling. Just contact us on 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the Netline.
You can also search for your nearest GamCare counselling here:
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/face-face-counselling/find-local-counselling
As CW said, GamAnon family groups also provide support to anyone affected by someone else's gambling and you can find information about groups here:
http://gamanon.org.uk/?page_id=173 (England, Wales and Ireland)
http://www.gamanonscotland.org/ (Scotland).
Time to look after you and your son as well as your partner.
Take care,
Forum Admin.
Hi, Lou,
Sorry just posted without thinking about the user name, my apologies but glad to see that you've at least partly amended it. As one who no longer has the same figure as twenty years ago, am not convinced that size matters in this context.
Look after yourself,
CW
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