Struggling in a relationship where the lies are becoming an issue, where I don’t know the truth from the lies.
I’m living in fear of financial situations in case one day something happens whereby unable to control, and it puts serious risk on everything we’ve built.
I feel I can never allow my walls down in terms of finances, I don’t have a problem supporting to manage finances and almost provide him some reassurance by doing that. I just don’t know how to help. I can’t confide in family as they wouldn’t understand.
Hello B22 and Welcome.
You can help by taking on the reality we give you to protect yourself, learn and look at this from a tougher standpoint.
A addicted gambler does not know the truth from the delusion. Therefore living with one will offer no real reliance or security. To get fully emotive about it, your world becomes a balloon with someone else staggering around with a large pin.
If you choose to do so, you can help from a position of strength while controlling all the finances. You also need to talk about it and provide reality checks that your relationship is on the line if he continues without a full effort and willingness to recover.
It's not your fault and some are not ready for the work involved. It's your decision and nobody is judging you on this
We understand here and know that relationships and living arrangements can be complicated. However we understand gambling and addiction. It's not something you can allow him to do for your own security and indeed sanity.
I hope you can reach out for family or local support. You say people wouldn't understand but gambling is a drug addiction and maybe you have to word things in a different way
You can not remain silent and this forum is a good start for you. Please ring gamcare as the phone call will really help you
No you can't let some barriers down for the good of both of you. If you are getting hassle you don't deserve that. We don't know your relationship or stake in your home but something must change.
You have much to learn and I'm afraid that means a new brand of tough love.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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