I recently got caught gambling by my wife. It's never been such a bad issue in my mond but in reality it was. I would spend maybe £100-200 a month sometimes winning sometimes losing. You know how it goes. This month I for some reason lost control and in one day I lost £720 chasing that demon. As it was online I just kept topping up not keeping tally. She found it before I could tell her, the worst way it could happen, not an excuse but I work away and was finally going to come clean to her when I got home. Now I feel its totally blown out of proportion, not sure if I'm in denial. But she has demanded all my cards and I'm left with a prepaid cash card. I have given them all to her but I feel less of a man now and don't know how to not be mad at her but it's completely clear I'm in the wrong. Has anyone had any similar experiences? I'm so angry, but I know it's at myself but I am being cold to her.
Probably did the best thing first by giving up control of financial matters to you're partner.
Now the real question is... So you want to stop gambling and seek help... Well done for making it here but you need to put effort in here otherwise it will spiral out of control.... Taking out loans or using your partners details to gamble.
There are also online tools which can help you stop called gamban which blocks websites. And some banks can block gambling transactions too.
Depends what you want... Pain and heart ache gambling away or better yourself and stick with some recovery either on this website or GA meetings
Well done for making it here tho
Dave101
Hi
I like may walked in to the recovery program thinking I only had a mone problem.
The addictions and obsessions only indicated that I was emotionally vulnerable.
I was emotionally vulnerable and understand that I was not a weak person.
The money was the fuel for my addiction.
Once I got completely lost in my addiction my pains grew my fears grew and I did not want to be honest as for my fears of rejection and abandoment.
I felt lost inadequate insecure inept and felt I had lost control in my life.
I even use to think that gambling controlled my life.
Sadly as I lied to my self more and more I lied to those close tome.
Then I got to understand it was just lying it was a betrayal of our realtionships.
People close to me felt betrayed and had lost trust and faith in me.
In time I Handed over the family finaces and money over tomy wife.
The truth is I could not be truted with cash in my pocket.
In time I would understand that the word recovery means healing.
In time I would abstain from gambling and as I got more honest with my self I got more honest with people and who were close to me.
Just for today only I do not want or need to gamble.
Just for today only I want to exchange every one of my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits .
I want to love my self more.
I want to respect my self more.
I do not want or need to gamble if I do so I just make life and situations more difficult and more painful.
Just for today I want to be the healthiest Person I can be.
Love peace and healing to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Could you chat to her about it all? Say you didn’t realise what a big problem it had become until you got to this point and how you are now tackling it.
You will feel disappointed with yourself ( I’m at this stage now ) but you’re only human so don’t be so hard on yourself.
I imagine in time you will get some of your financial freedom back but she will need to see that you have given it up. It’s like any addiction- it’s hard to to and I think the best thing is to be honest with each other so you can support each other.
I also have given up on all my financials. Money, bank cards, and even getting my wages transferred to someone else’s account.
It to show that I’m will to anything to make this work between me and my partner. I understand I have lied to her and made her feel like I can’t be trusted and trust is the key to all relationships.
These are steps that we both have spoken about and agree on. I’ve even aloud her to track my phone so she can see where I am at at all times. Yes it sounds like my freedom has gone but I have to earn my trust back and it’s all about taking baby steps
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