I need a break

Thanks wal1957, what you say makes sense, I know he has no self esteem, he told me he hates himself. We have told him his behaviour is unacceptable and he doesnt seem to care. He has been physical in the past, shooved my husband up against the wall, and had him pinned to the floor at one point. Im disabled and spend most of my time in a wheelchair and my son regularly wheels me out of the way when " I get on his nerves". There have been a couple of occassions when he we told him to leave but he refused and he said "make me", and it got very unpleasant, my husband stands up to him and wont let him push around and that was one of the times he had my husband pinned to the floor. My husband is a very gentle man and fantastic dad , and I was so shocked he turned on his dad like that, I begged my husband to leave the room and stay away from him, We walk around on egg shells its like living with a bully. Yesterday we said he had to stay away for at least a few weeks, but weve decided that he has to stay away until hes in some kind of recovery and can prove it. I am not prepared to live like this anymore, he needs tough love but we also need think of ourselves and we havent so far. I am going to get some advice on what to do if he turns up, because he would be told to leave and I think he wouldnt go willingly. I am certain we made the right decision telling him to stay away and finding all these good people on here has helped so much its given me the courage to do the tough love and protect ourselves. We are slowly starting to think about getting our own lives back on track and get back to some normality but I am struggling so I do want some counselling. I would struggle to get to counselling regularly due to health issues but I'll find something.

Thanks wal1957, Ive just spoken to someone to arrange some counselling, they were really helpful and are going to sort something out for me. It turns out theres somewhere near bye, I was initially told the closest place was 35 miles and I physically couldnt do that on a regular basis, I have trouble travelling due to health issuses. Its through Gamcare so I'll be with the best, Im so releaved.

Oh as67 I am so happy that you have been able to arrange for some counselling for yourself! When we live in the chaos for so long it becomes our normal when in fact it is no where near normal. We have just continually lowered the bar for acceptable behaviour because we love that person so much and we don't even notice how bad it has gotten.

You are well on your way to your recovery. You go sister!!

So proud of your courage and determination!

Cathy

Amom wow, thank you so much you made me cry, but for the first time in a very long time not sad tears. Just last weekend I was in such a state I didnt know what to do, its gone on for a very long time, thinking Im doomed to feel like this forever. Coming to this forum has been one of the best decisions of my life, I wish Id done it a long time ago. Ive just had a call from the counselling service and its a few weeks wait but thats fine. They know my circumstances and are happy for me to have 1 initial appointment to meet the lady whos going to help me then it will be phone calls from then on, I cant ask for better than that. Thank you so much for your encouragement and support, I will be forever grateful.

Ann

Hi as67

Thankyou for your kind words. I am just happy to be able to be of some assistance to you, even tho i live a few miles distant from you in Australia. 🙂

To be honest, I get a 'buzz' from being able to help. Through my gambling I stole money from my sister, lied, hated family get togethers,etc. etc. I visit this site from time to time when I'm feeling a bit down. Helping you, and other family members, and the gamblers themselves, gives me a lift. Quite often I have a tear in my 57 year young eyes.:)

As always, take care and best wishes.

Hi As67

I just wanted to post a reminder to you about the National Domestic Violence helpline, as you mentioned in your posts that your son sometimes is threatening to you and acts physically.

It is common for relationships to deteriorate whilst someone is in the throes of a gambling addiction; it is therefore especially important that all the people in the relationship are kept safe. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 or ask the other people to. You can also look on their website:

http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/

Hope this helps and gives you some peace of mind that you arent on your own with this.

Best wishes,

Rebecca

Thank you Rebecca

Happy Mother's Day as67!!

I know things aren't ideal right now but what you are doing for your son is the hardest thing any mother will have to do .... and that makes you The Worlds Best Mom in my eyes! Enjoy your day with your other son and know your CG son loves his momma just can't show it right now!

Take Care

Cathy

Amom Im a bit lost for words for once ( my husband would disagree with that 🙂 ), that was one of the kindest caring things anyone has ever said to me and its really helped me today. There will of been times when you have been in excatly the same position as me and it must of been just as hard, I hope someone was as kind and thought of you then.. This morning was a bit miserable but my other son came home and made us a wonderful dinner and bought me some lovely presents and I feel a little spoiled. I just keep telling myself its just a day like any other and its day closer to my son getting well. Thank you Cathy for your care and support 🙂

Ann