Is it a problem?

Hello

Your situation sounds like what mine might've been like if I'd got caught by one of my ex's, during my addiction.

You've had good advice but I wanted to share my experience of denial.

I think I never admitted my addiction to myself, in spite of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary (estimated over £100k), because. ..well maybe 2 reasons.

1. Because I was secretly carrying a lot of insecurities. A 'gap' had developed, between who I thought I should be and what I was.

I had social confidence issues and rather than admit and address, I hid. The last thing an insecure person wants to admit is an addiction.

Gambling is a form of escapism, a dopamine hit to boost an otherwise disconnected life. I think this applies to all addicts.

This disconnection comes from repressing difficult thoughts and emotions. It becomes a downward spiral as the more we escape and hide, the bigger out fears become - the more we're being dictated to by fear (when we face our fears there's realisation many of our fears are 'paper tigers' after all that. Grrr!)

2. If I admitted being an addict, I had to stop. Some part of me simply wouldn't stand for being an addict. So if I accepted this it became inevitable I must stop.

For me, the big thing was finding this site and discovering the huge number of people in my situ. I knew I was an addict. Therefore I had to stop. That was over 3 years ago.

I agree, don't stand for his manipulation. At least one part of him knows he's wrong. There's probably positive processing going on but it's too slow if he's fighting it.

Would he join the forum? Can he go GA? My instinct is that his denial might be similar to mine and he needs to connect with other gamblers, to understand himself and get better.

Best wishes

Louis