Hi Everyone.
I am new to this, and nervous, but don't know where to turn. My husband of 10 years is a gambler. We have had plenty of issues over the years and I've always tried to support/ help/ even forgive him but yesterday I discovered yet another large amount hes gambled away. The worst thing is some of the money he has gambled came from his late Grandma who left us some in her will. He hid this from me and chose to gamble it away instead of using that for our family. Its all the lies that hurt so much. We have 3 young children and already have previous debt (that i pay) some of this is from him gambling. Some of this is from bill/ household money that he chose to gamble instead of pay bills.
So I find myself at a crossroads. I love him and our family unit, but when is enough enough? How many more times will we go through this? At what point do I put myself and my children first and walk away? Please help me 🙁
It's enough when you decide it's enough. He won't stop until he wants to and that may be tomorrow it may be never. Being too understanding can work against your interests and they are the priority. Think about how you want to live and what you and the children need and deserve from a husband and dad. All the time he's gambling he won't be anywhere close.
What does he say? Does he see a problem? Is he seeking help? If you pay the debt he's free to play. Time to safeguard your money and look after yourself and the kids. Call gamcare for advice, find a gamanon meeting. It's not acceptable for a partner to gamble money for bills and the family. You can't physically stop him but you can show him you're not willing to put up with it.
Hi I am going through a similar situation by husband just gambles again after 14months of being free on gambling. We have 2 children and we were finally getting savings together for a house etc and he has lost £10k! This has been going on and off for 8 years, he pays the bills and hasn’t got any debt apart from a small credit card but but I feel like every time we get savings together they just go.
I don’t want to split up because he is such a good person without the gambling, he is distraught and I know how much he hates that he has this problem but I’m struggling to cope there more it happens. We are going to sort out a plan for finances and he is going to be giving me control of his business and accounts, I think that’s the first step as well as barring himself from bookies around our area. I feel it’s such a hard decision when you love someone and they don’t want it for themself and there good in other aspects of the relationship it’s just such a big blow. Let me know if you have any good suggestions to manage this also i know it’s hard to go through and no one really understands.
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