So my dad and I recently discovered my mum is spending large amounts of money buying “Spins” on a mobile game. We didn’t realise how bad it was until we found the most recent bank statements that showed she had spent over £1766 in under two and a half months, £163 in one day! We haven’t confronted her about it yet, mainly because we are still trying to find more information on the extent of her spending and also we aren't sure on the best way to handle it when we do confront her. Has anyone else had any similar issues with family members that could offer any advice or point us in the right direction?
Hi leighsah. Gambling problems normally come to a head when the gambler runs out of money. You are in some ways ahead of the game. The problem is most gamblers don't see the problem, 'it's not that much money'. Normally someone is gambling to excess because of a wish to escape reality. Unfortunately now with online access you become addicted very quickly due to the design of the games. We are all using gadgets to unhealthy limits and wasting time.
If you confront her she will most likely deny it. Which then may lead her to being more secretive. I would suggest you gather as much info about the financial damage to show her how bad it's become. She may not realise how bad it is. She needs help. Addiction is progressive so the longer she gambles the more money she will place on each spin, expecting to win more to cover the growing losses. It's a mental health issue and the longer you gamble the more damage. She can sign up to gamstop which blocks online uk sites, for 5 years. You can download Gamban to gadgets to block gambling sites. Limit or totally
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block her access to money. She can sign up to gamstop which blocks online sites for 5 years. Call gamcare, find a gamanon meeting. There is online meeting 8-9 Sunday for gamanon. Emphasise you want to help her. Don't ignore it, it gets worse over time.
Hi Leighsah.
Thats a great reply from Merry go round and you are in some ways ahead of the game. Its picking a moment to confront her in a way that wont be too shocking or abrupt.
Then again there is no perfect moment and there is no shame in saying that gambling is not acceptable to you as a family. It does need to be confronted and you will need to protect the finances before you move on
There is no shame in admitting to a gambling addiction. It can be beaten but there is never room for complacency as a compulsive gamblers mind is vunerable to relapses.
its about discussion and not making the gambler feel isolated. It is a drug addiction and illness which you can read about in the medical text books. do the exercises and the gambler can try and explain a gambling session...it makes no sense whatsoever but the gambler is under a form of delusional mind control.
You can offer help but only from a position of strength and knowledge. Your mum will HAVE to be living on a small allowance with receipts provided.Its not about treating her like a baby...its about saving lives...yes its that serious Im afraid. If she fights this and is not ready to stop that is a real problem. If she is ready a serenity will flow over her and she will feel a sense of relief that its all out in the open. She will be relieved to be getting help.
You will need full access to credit reports and any signs she is getting money from other sources.That is the sheer power of a gambling addiction. Im not saying she is a bad person but addictions alter the mind
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hi, you could try to help her rekindle an old hobby. Invariably, gamblers will lose interest in hobbies as they become more and more addicted to their gambling. After you have stopped, it is important to rekindle old hobbies. This will not only boost self-esteem but will also provide a regular reminder of new way of life. Like most behavioural addictions, it is important to find a more healthy activity to replace the negative addiction. This will keep her focused on the benefits of her new way of life rather than on what she is missing out on. there're are other 9 ways, you may interest: docsbay.net/the-10-successful-ways-of-overcoming-gambling-urges
Gather as much info as possible, you need to sit down together as a family and get this all out in the open. We gamblers tend to bury our heads in the sand and lies really feed this addiction so getting everything out in the open is the only way real healing can begun.
It wont be easy, I was horrible as the thought of not gambling again was something I could not bare so dont be surprised if things get a bit heated. Advice her about the nearest GA meeting. If she really wants to stop she will seek help.
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