Hello,
So I have created an account today because my partner is in serious issues. He has always had a problem with gambling but when he met me for a whole year he only relapsed twice.
Fast forward and this year we had a tough time, I left my well paying job because it was making me ill, he said okay and that he supports me.
Turns out a couple of months after I get a less paying job he has been gambling again. He got himself into £5000 debt and now into a debt management program. He is unhappy and blamed me and actually broke up with me.
Today i am understanding he is not unhappy with the relationship but the fact he is quite clearly struggling with his gambling problem. He got paid only two days ago and no bills have been paid and he blew all of it yesterday because he was drunk.
We had preventions in place only a couple of weeks before he kicked me out of the apartment. He now has no way of paying for £1200 of bills and I can't help him now. My name is on the tenancy still though. I am also his guarantee for a loan which I can't afford anymore.
I am so worried for him and for myself. I have no idea what to do basically.
Hi broken girl. Call stepchange regarding the loan. They should advise you. I've never rented so no idea, it depends on the agreement you signed? Debt camel are a good website for advice. As for the gambling there is nothing you can do until he decides to get help. Often addicts are addicted to many things, gambling and alcohol. One is affecting the other here. To help a gambler, don't give them money, don't bail them out, don't pay bills for them. There has to be a consequence, it's not ok. If a gambler just puts blocks in place they never recover. They have to actively seek help and support. Willpower alone doesn't help. Gamblers Anonymous meetings (GA) are advisable, gamcare offer counselling for both you and him. Restricting access to money can also help. Safeguard your finances, get advise regarding being a guarantor for his loan.
Merry go round wrote:
Hi broken girl. Call stepchange regarding the loan. They should advise you. I've never rented so no idea, it depends on the agreement you signed? Debt camel are a good website for advice. As for the gambling there is nothing you can do until he decides to get help. Often addicts are addicted to many things, gambling and alcohol. One is affecting the other here. To help a gambler, don't give them money, don't bail them out, don't pay bills for them. There has to be a consequence, it's not ok. If a gambler just puts blocks in place they never recover. They have to actively seek help and support. Willpower alone doesn't help. Gamblers Anonymous meetings (GA) are advisable, gamcare offer counselling for both you and him. Restricting access to money can also help. Safeguard your finances, get advise regarding being a guarantor for his loan.
Hi merry go round, thanks for taking the time to read my story.
He has already signed up with Stepchange to get out of the debt.
Thank you for the advice, I will not help him out financially I can only support him as much as I can, I know he has to be the one to change and get help.
I'll have to try Gamcare for counseling for us both. I already tried to restrict his money but he is under the impression it's his he can do what he wants plus as he kicked me out he never sent me anything so he has full reign to do as he pleases. I told him I would help so this wouldn't happen but he clearly didn't want to that.
I'll have to call the loan people myself to see what my options are being guarantor.
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