If he's looking for then using hidden debit cards and hasn't got his parents to install an effective password protected blocker he's not really trying very hard, is he?
It's a progressive addiction and unchecked it can and does ruin not only the gambler but everyone around them. It can be arrested if that's what the gambler wants but they are only ever as far into recovery as the next bet and there's nothing whatsoever you can do or say to influence whether or not that happens. Living with it means you will have to be on top of everything financial permanently. It's infuriating and tiring but better than the alternative. Think hard about whether that's something you want to take on. Read up on the addiction and find out what life with a gambler - even a recovering one - holds. Most of us here will tell you it's not what we ever envisaged or planned.
Hi 13nort! Hmmm, would I run for the hills if I'd known? Probably not we don't know, don't realise what a compulsive gambler really is, what it means long term. This is forever, no cure, just arresting it. Living one day at a time. Advice is no joint accounts, don't give them any money, no bail outs. It sounds like he has addictive tendencies towards alcohol too. Depression is there as well. My husband has battled this for 30 years alongside depression. Had to give up alcohol. They are addicts and have to find something to fill the void. Does he go to GA? Unfortunately willpower is not enough and extra help/support is needed. You can go to a gamanon meeting and see how people live with this. You cannot stop him if he chooses to gamble. Software blocks on all gadgets but not knowing passwords and making sure there is no internet access at home to gambling sites, call internet provider too. They have to do this themselves, they have to know how to put their own blocks in place. Hand over finances if they feel incapable of being trusted with money. They have to actively fight everyday to not slip back. If he's actively gambling they can be very difficult to live with. Read around the diaries, see what some are struggling with. He may only be telling you what you want to hear. Secrets and lies drive addiction. Find out as much as you can. Beware of any financial agreements moving forward. Don't rush into anything without making sure you're safeguarded. Him being open and honest about money and debt is what you need. Also honesty about addiction too. No one can decide for you. Don't think it will get better or go away. In my experience GA is the only thing that works for my husband. He has no access to bank, money, cards. It's hard work and stressful at times. Keep asking questions here for more advice and support .
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