Hello
just found out last night my son has been gambling he is 20 and in the forces - he has lost his savings £11,000 - he is doing it online casino etc and would appreciate any advice - im pleased he told me and his step dad but not knowing how to support him
Hi dotty I'm sorry to see you here but it's also great that you are seeking support. Call gamcare and get some professional advice. Your son needs to download blocks onto his gadgets (k9,gamban etc). He needs to self exclude as well. Is it possible for him to go to GA? Compulsive gambling is progressive and will get worse if not 'arrested'. He could cancel his credit cards and when new ones come scratch off the 3 digit code. Advice is not to pay their debts as that just lets them start again. Maybe try and find out if there is any support for him from the forces? The money is gone and that's a tough hurdle to overcome, but he will never win it back. You could also go to a gamanon meeting if there is one near you. Don't ignore this or think it goes away. Ask lots of questions and talk on here. Good luck!
Hello Dotty
welcome to the GamCare chatroom. You're doing the right thing by asking for support. Merry go round has given you some excellent pointers there. I'd just add that GamCare can also offer free 1:1 counselling for both gamblers and anyone affected by someone else's gambling. You don't say if your son is posted overseas, but if he's in Great Britain we may be able to offer face to face counselling local to him, and if he's overseas temporarily we may be able to offer online counselling.
Do give us a call on 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the Netline if you haven't already.
Take care of yourself,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Hi Dotty,
Well done for looking for advice, it sounds like your son is a compulsive gambler. The good new is he has told you guys about his losses, however that does not mean he will admit he is a compulsive gambler. It took me 20 years to realise it so if he tackles this issue now he can not let it ruin his life. 11k can seem like small cahnge compared to teh damage that can be done by a compulsive gambler believe me. But its not a money issue, the reality is that if your a compulsive gambler, similar to being an alcoholic, then thats the way you are for life. This is cruicual to understand as we like to belive we can control it (and we do for spells) but overall it controls us and eventually it ruins us.
The key points to understand is that you son has to want to help himself, you cant force him, GA meetings are free and all around the country. Tell him to make GA part of his life and commit to recovery, there he will meet fellow compulsive gamblers who from my experience give the best advice. First up is to get barriers in place to block our addiction, ideally if someone can oversee our finances is a huge help as if we dont have access to money we obviously cant gamble, also this person should have access to their credit history (there are free online ones such as Clearscore where you can see any debts or credit cards in their name).
The help he needs is out there is he wants it. His savings are gone but he will only repeat this if he keeps gambling.
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