Newbie in need of advice,reassurance,an ear to listen

Hi lrbrady sorry to hear this. As if you don't have enough worry. I don't know how to control cash in hand. Does he admit to a problem? Does he want help? I would call gamcare. Then I would go to gp, if you don't want to get out of bed that is a sign of depression, plus ivf is a tough and exhausting process. I go to gamanon meetings, it's great support and good advice from people who know. Try and get him to seek help. Look after yourself, maybe do some credit checks? Try and keep your money separate, don't have joint accounts. Get as much cash from him and bank it in your account?? I don't know, but seek help today. Good luck!

Hi there :))

I'm a Compulsive Gambler although I've not gambled for a fair while now .

When I quit gambling I had the same problem with money being available as I have a small business that deals only in cash , Unfortunately other than to hand it over to you a couple of times a day I don't see what else would be available ? .

Maybe it would be better to look at way's of cutting off the ability to gamble through self exclusions from bookies or blocking software if he gambles online ?

I did that but it still left the money issue and I just had to keep saying no !

For what it's worth it alway's starts as a bit of fun and looking for way's to solve a problem such as your IVF treatment is a sure fire way for us to keep justifying what we do as Compulsive gamblers . I convinced myself many times that when I gambled it would alway's be for the benefit of my family but have come to understand it meant that I could justify another bet .

I've not gambled in nearly 2 yrs so it is doable and things really can improve quite quickly fo reveryone concerned but he has to want to change in order to stop , to let the money go and accept that he no longer needs to chase it .

Has he sought any help yet , GA or here for instance ? With our addiction " Action speaks a lot louder than word's " and until youv'e proof and transparency that he's actually doing what he's saying then just be a little cautious for now .

Most importantly look after you :))

Thank you for your quick responses. He admits there's a problem & says he wants help but never seems to follow it through.thats partly why I've joined to see if this is a normal response to wanting to get help..... almost if he can fob me off it'll go away. I've told him I'll got to every bookies within our town to self-exclude & I'm trying to be patient but I can't drag him there as much as I'd like to!

You don't need to drag him there as he should be doing that for himself if he's committed to wanting to stop ? but you could give him 08002942060 whch is the number for the national self exclution , you just email them a photo and tell them where you want to exclude from and they do the rest :))

You need proof and openess from him .

Thank you. I didn't know you could self-exclude that way

i wish i had your strength and committment Alan - Paul

Be careful my husband has said same thing only to discover its just pretence ...keeps us happy. As said by many get proof been in same situation for 15 years getting tired of it now . Good luck

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