Hi everyone.. This is my first post.
I have been with my partner for 5 years we have a 7 month old daughter.
I have always known my partner has gambling problems he has always like to do football accumulators or fruit machines and online roulette.
He used to spend about £100 a weekend.
Over the past year this has become more and more frequent and every night he is online .. I have Tryed to put blocks on internet ect but he always finds ways around it..
I have recently found out we are now over £40k in debt with banks and he can easily spend thousands in just one night !
I have known he has been getting loans to cover previous loans and to find his gambling but not to that extent!
I just don't even know where to begin or what I can do I took him to citizens advice and they discussed bankruptcy and have him some forms to fill out which he dosent even want to look at..
He just dosent seem to have a cut off point even with drinking
He is so depressed and low and just won't let me help him I am so worried about him I just don't know what to do..
Don't know how much more i can take myself before I just up and leave I don't want too but when he just pushes me away and says he dosent care what can I do?
Any advice anyone?
Feeling low 🙁
Hi jess, I'm so sorry to hear your story, I myself am a cg and like your partner I do everything to excess gambling, eating, drinking, everything in my life is to excess.
Your partner has got to want to stop his gambling or I am afraid there's not a lot you can do for him, I find ga meetings are a massive help for me I can see a lot clearer since going there and maybe it could be an option for your partner.
Good luck with everything and try to be strong.
Ste26
Hi ste26
Thanks for replying to me
I have looked into ga meetings and have said about it to him about going but like you said he has to want to stop..
I think he does as just looking at him I can see how withdrawn and just sad he looks, he has told me he is depressed and can't see a way out of his black hole 🙁
His moods are very up and down yesterday he wanted my help today he dosent and says he dosent care about us I know he dosent mean it just a bad day...
Ahhh 🙁
We turn into people we are not as gamblers, we do things and say things that are not normally in our nature it's horrible. We become the best liars and will stop at nothing to get what we want.
I'm sure your partner does not mean the things he says to you, your just the one who gets it because you are the closest.
As gamblers the illness we have tells us if we keep gambling we will get that big win pay the debts off and never do it again, when the reality is we can never win because we can never stop, the more we win the more we want its a vicious circle and the only solution is to stop.
Listen I know how bad your feeling right now I've put my partner through this now for years I was horrible to her and I feel for you also don't for one second think that this is your fault because its not.
Try taking over finances and giving him cash as and when, we do this now it works I can't gamble now even if I wanted to, which I don't.
I hope you get through this mess, only you knows what's best for you.
Wish you well. ......ste26
Thank you good luck it sounds like youre doing well 🙂
Your welcome, I didn't gamble for thirteen months up until October, had a mad had a mad five months then started again, it's only early days(day 33 today) but I feel really strong this time fingers crossed for my family's sake. ....ste26
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