Hi all
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I have been with my partner for 8 years now. In the beginning I could see that he was not great with money but I didnt understand originally how bad he actually was with money… after a year I fell pregnant and during the pregnancy he admitted to me that his gambling was severe. I have never experienced a gambler nor did I understand it. I supported him, he cried, I helped him and then a few weeks later he lost all his wages again so I left. I got a house he came and guilt tripping and made me believe we should be a family unit and he will not gamble again. Long story short he gambled again. Its been 8 years ive been throigh gamcare with him, counselling, self exclusion, hypnosis and he has done it again and again and again. I pay all the bills and he contributes where he can as if I ask him for anything for OUR kids he closes up and gets angry at me. He wont discuss rhe gambling he has completely given up on himself so I have kicked him out. That was sunday just gone, he threw himself on the floor and was wailing like a baby but there was no tears. And he still didnt admit that he was gambling. Im worried about his mental state, he is very much deluded. He is 32 for content and he is back at his enabling mother’s house now on her couch. Apparently he is going to take me to court for custody & on friday ‘he is going to the housing and will be getting a house so he can take the kids 3 days a week’. Our children are settled with me, due to his gambling my names on everything. His name isnt on the tenancy. I want him to be a dad, the kids need him and love him but I am waking up anxious every single day about what he will do next. His temper and rages and manipulation is killing me inside. I feel frightened of him and the extent his mother will go to with courts etc. when this was never my addiction to begin with and ive tried so much to help him. I am so sad right nowÂ
Hi JenniferÂ
this is very sad to see but you are in a positive position.
you’re name is on everything.
you can prove that you’ve paid for everything over the years.
his credit score will show his history.
Don’t be afraid of their idle threats. His mother is keeping him ‘sick’. They don’t understand that they’re part of the problem.
you don’t say how he gambles? Is it online, bookies, etc
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i would make a timeline of events. Keep any documents, bank statements as proof.
Stepchange are great for advice.
if you can afford one, get a solicitor. Be proactive.
you can also find a Gamanon meeting. I learnt so much from people in my situation and how to protect myself. There are online meetings too.
good luckÂ
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Thankyou.Â
He is blocked off the websites but I think he is using the european ones maybe he sits in the toilet constantly saying he is having a number 2 but its every 20/30 minutes. I think he has another card because on his bank account he is transferring money somewhere else. It says BANK GIRO CREDIT. He said this was UCredit but it isnt because he was paid by them only a week before and it clearly says UNIVERSAL CREDIT. There are funds being withdrawn so I think he is going to bookies out of the area also. The stops were placed on him 3 years ago and to be honest I think he will always find a way. I can tell by his mood and his demeanour too he will not look at me and is so defensive. Its slots / roulettes and bets on random sporting events. That I know of!!! I am so done with him I am just upset that I have wasted time trying to help someone who wont help themself. Plus my dad is on pallative care and is declining by the day, I would never put him in this position knowing his parent was dying. He never loved me clearly.. but thankyou. I have support / dr etc helping me through this and I have gone on Propananol because I keep having panick attacks.Â
I can still see the light for now.Â
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