Well i turned up at my estranged husbands door today. He wouldnt let me in at first but he eventually did. After a while we managed to have a decent conversation. I told him i still loved him and didnt want a divorce, he admitted he gambles too much, though didnt admit he had a problem.
Anyway fast forward to when i was about to leave. I went to the toilet and found a half used pack of condoms. My heart sank into my stomach. I wasnt mad i was just gutted. Its only been two months since we separated, and only 4 weeks since i filed for divorce, but he is already sleeping around.
So not only have i had his gambling to deal with but this to. Things went downhill with us after that. But when i got home and eas with the kids, i had my light ulb moment that it is all over, and im surprisingly ok about it. Im sure i will have another down day, but the thought of my family not being together anymore because of his gambling and subsequent women (which probably comes hand in hand with him) doesnt fill me with regret and worry.
All my family and friends have been telling me i will get to this point at some point on my own, it wasnt the excessive gambling, and all his redundancy money gone, it was him being with other people. That was my line. That was the start of the end of us and a chaoter to my new life.
So to all the other spouses of gambling addicts, whatever that line may be for you, it will come when you least expect it. You will take it in your stride and it will make you a stronger person. I know i did everything i could for him, but you cant help those that dont want to be helped. They will just do what they want.
I am so glad i went to his house today and im so glad we were able to be ok with eachother, and im so glad i found what i did. I think im going to sleep like a baby tonight after years of broken sleep. I am going to start looking forward with no regret or no shoulda woulda couldas. I will probably still attend counselling just to keep me on the path of sanity. But today turned out to be a good step in the right direction for me and my kids.
Hi marker
thanks for such a positive post! Which seems a weird comment but you know what I mean. You can move forward with your life now and I hope after all this you can find happiness and calm for you and your children. Good luck with your new future! And enjoy that sleep!
Whatever your light bulb moment is, it is such a relief to know life has changed isnt it? The world is a different place today and the future is now all new, congratulations.
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