Relationship with a gambler

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(@qao9g60it5)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

Hi there,

 

I don’t really know how to word this other than my heart is broken by my now ex partner. He’s relapsed again and he’s become so cold and distant. Saying I make him miserable, he’s so unhappy and that he doesn’t love me. 

I knew he was relapsing months ago but he doesn’t know I know his behaviours. He’s been so cold to me but when I’ve raised is something wrong he would say no. He’s been so late for rent for months and I eventually said enough is enough as it comes out my account. He admitted he has been gambling again. I tried to be supportive but said I wasn’t helping financially. He said he didn’t want my help.
I encouraged him to download the gam stop tool which he did but won’t go to meetings. I tried to help him work out his monthly finances but he snapped saying no, as I was catching on to massive gaps in his story. ie lots of missing money.

After this, he’s been really nasty to me. I again asked what was wrong and he’s now said he’s miserable and left me after 9 years. He’s ran away to his flat leaving me to sort out our rented house. I now have to move into a house share while he’s in his own flat with friends/family nearby and im 3 hours away.

How can he be so cold?! Is there hope for us, or is it possible I’m kidding myself there’s no link to gambling and he is just done? 9 years is a long time and I don’t want to throw it away, but I deserve better 🙁

 

Thank you!

This topic was modified 2 years ago by lkr09
 
Posted : 15th April 2023 5:36 pm
(@67joig0t3p)
Posts: 2
 

I have been the other person. And honestly you become so selfish. But you do realise and it does hurt and there is guilt x 

please do what you need to do for you first. The rest is extra x 

you deserve better x

but all we need is that one person there to help x 

 

im sorry ? you’re going through this xx 

much love ? 

 
Posted : 15th April 2023 11:06 pm
(@nomorelee)
Posts: 8
 

Hi i really don’t have any advice or help because im going to a similar struggle…my partner is gambling yet again and im so low. It’s horrible the lies just keep coming and he minimises everything…it’s ok I have it under control..your nagging me.. I will sort it ..I  wish you would trust me!!! That last one is probably the worse ! How the hell can you trust?? They become beyond selfish and In their own world.. I really hope you’re ok it’s sickening reading some of the stories and how this addiction is destroying them and everything around them. Xx

 
Posted : 16th April 2023 11:27 am
 Hope
(@lryxsa7zmq)
Posts: 2
 

Hi,

I’m new here, I chose to join the group after being with a gambler for four years, I realised how much it is affecting me, I want so much to help him and have tried persuading in all the time we’re together. He is still reluctant to help himself so I chose to get the support instead, as believe me we need it family don’t seem to understand my struggle.

I can relate so much to your words about trust, I’ll sort it, I’m trying to be better.. I’m sorry, after nearly destroying us and our business sorry just doesn’t cut it xx 

 
Posted : 16th April 2023 9:20 pm

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