Hi everyone,
I was with my CG for almost 7 years and we have 2 kids. I learnt early on in the relationship he was reckless with drinking and gambling but thought he just needed to grow up. I left him for a year as I had enough and had to think of our daughter. In that year he started going to AA Meetings and said being an alcohol abuser caused this reckless behaviour. He really was a changed person through actions not just words, so I decided to get back with him and things were good, I felt safe as he worked his programme and could finally see a future for our little family.
Not long after our son was born the gambling came back in full force, with him taking out payday loans behind my back, and finding ways to gamble after my attempts to block it. I was so crushed as he wasn't drinking (so couldn't blame alcohol) but soon realised he was a CG.
Things calmed down for a few months as he got rid of his smartphone and I had access to his bank account. Then he started a new job, started going for afterwork drinks, gambling started again and we had weeks of arguing, him apologising then doing it all again.
I was on the verge of a breakdown with all the lies, gas lighting, emotional abuse and the final straw for me was finding out he was cheating on me with a girl from work.
I was heartbroken that he could walk away from his family so easily. He has been seeing this girl ever since even though he has begged to come home so many times. I know he is still gambling and took out a lot of payday loans since he left as he has nobody to help control his money. He still doesn't see his gambling as a problem, and thinks he is turning his life around without AA/GA as he made a phone call to a debt charity.
Aside from the gambling he was a great dad/partner when in AA , and I think I'm scared he will turn his life around for this girl (even though I know it's unlikely). I know he is probably sticking with her as I won't take him back but it's the fact he has been so heartless about my feelings. It's so hard to move forward as I have to co parent with him so still get caught up in his lies and playing victim, begging to come home etc..
He has treated me so badly these last few weeks, so why am I still so sad and hurt when he seems to be moving on and getting on in life?
Sorry for the long post, advise would be appreciated X
Hi stace it hurts because you're human and have feelings. It's about wanting him to love you more than addiction. When an addict is active it's a nightmare. Call gamcare and see if you can talk to someone. You've made a decision be confident in that and try and let go.
Thank you Merry Go Round. I will stick with my decision, and I will speak to somebody to clarify things in my head.
Hi Stace88 , I am a compulsive gambler. But, in the past, before I was caught in the slot machine zone addiction , I was a love addict codependent and I found some sights on line to help with love addiction! Do you want to check out that information too? There is alot of help and infor online about love addiction... sites like this, books, videos etc. Much compassion to you right now. Glad you are standing up for yourself and kids. tara2
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