I've known of my boyfriends addiction for over a year now. Our first year together was hard, he would never have any money and could never explain where it went. He eventually confessed 2 christmas's ago after I asked him to leave. After a rocky six months trying to deal with the knowledge and some slips along the way I eventually took control of his finances. He had a large amount of debt to settle but after speaking to all of the companies owed he managed to clear it all in 12 months with the exception of his overdraft. His money still gets paid into my account and he's in afghan now and he was asking me to put money into his account to clear the overdraft. In the last month 2 4 figure sums were deposited, I have now found out it's all gone to online gambling sites. He doesn't know I know, continually asking for money, saying how happy he is that his bank account is in the clear. I can't bring myself to tell him I know when he's so far away. It's now got to the point where I can't bring myself to message him anymore as I'm so scared he's going to ask for money. When I refuse he gets nasty, blames me for issues in our relationship, tells me I treat him like a kid. I don't know where to turn anymore. I can bring myself to help him with his addiction, but I can't handle the lies and the way he withdraws emotional support from me. Is this normal?
Welcome to our forum Luvlylols,
You have done a great job supporting your boyfriend with his debt recovery so far. However, it does sound like the problem has not gone away. Your partner may need professional help to overcome his addiction and bailing him out won’t do any good. It is your decision whether and when to bring it up in the open again and discuss the options available for getting help.
In the meantime, I would recommend getting in touch with GamCare and discuss this with one of the advisors. We're open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week. You may call us on our Freephone 0808 8020 133. Alternatively, you can use the Netline:
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline
All the best,
Ana
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