Suspicion about using my bank details to gamble

Thank you for the vital information, my friend had a similar experience with his bank account used to play gamble.

Hi candy

it could have been cloned by the bar. Strangely enough it happened to my husband who is the compulsive gambler. His card was cloned and used on a gambling site. His card can’t be used online so like your bank the transaction didn’t go through. It played on his mind, because of all things to use it for, gambling was the worse. He suspected a bar/cafe, then a website he’d bought tickets for a gig, etc

could be anyone

but, a gambler might use your card as well.

just remember don’t leave access or temptation around.

Try not to think the worst, the card is cancelled and no money was taken.

@cdaohrt7el thank you for your post!

May I ask if your friend seems to think that he/she knew the person?

Candy xx

@merry-go-round thank you! Just to clarify: My friend paid. So the bar did not have access to my card.

I read all your replies to other posts by the way. Very helpful.

This ‘friend’ is currently owning me money (which I will never see) and to other people, confessed to play illegal gambling (in bars behind closed doors), on his phone and his bank has taken actions against him as he has not paid his overdraft. So…I’m highly suspicious. 

I could go on and on about it but this will be very long and will need another post. 

@merry-go-round , since it seems that you have quite of a deep knowledge and understanding of how gamblers think, would they usually wait or use a card details right away (or you don’t know).

It is an extremely unpleasant feeling as I think you will (you and other readers) understand. I have read that gamblers are professional at lying, stealing , saying that they stop etc…

Hi candy 

the list of lies and bad behaviour is endless. In my personal experience my husband never used my cards. But I’ve talked to my husband about it before and he said ‘yes’ to remembering numbers if I had his cards for safe keeping.

its a minefield. You’ve obviously experienced the lending of money that will never be repaid.

there’s no point in trying to know what they will or won’t do. Just worry about you. 

@merry-go-round good morning 

thank you for your wise words as always.

Yes I have accepted his ‘illness’ (I knew straight away from the start when I asked me to lend him some money that there was something not quite alright) but I did not know until I made searches how bad it could be and that it was like a A drug class in terms of addiction. 

As I read a lot on the forum it is not so much about the money but more about the deceit and the lies and obviously started to question what the addiction leads them to do. 

I have started to worry about me recently when accepting that I could not do anything. 

Have a lovely Easter Monday 🐣

Hi candy

you can’t think like a gambler, there is no point. You just have to think about you. Don’t leave temptation in their presence. 

I’ve talked about this years ago with my husband and yes he would remember his own card number and use it whilst the card was in my possession. Lies and bad behaviour go hand in hand.

you can’t assume it was your friend and it will send you mad wondering. Just focus on yourself

@merry-go-round your posts always give me ‘warmth in the stomach’ (I am not sure how to express it correctly it is a reassuring feeling).

As I have explained the whole story would be far too long and complex to write. Perhaps in the future I will see a post and will give more explanations if it is related. 

We have not been in touch for a while now, we live miles apart but deep down I have a feeling that the addiction was always there or that he jumps from an addiction to another (we know each other since we are 15 years old , we are close to 50).

I have a very fortunate life in terms of everything (touch wood) and not in a million years I would have thought that I will let myself be involved (voluntary) with an ‘addict’. The amount owned is only £2000 (it could sound a lot) and it is not about the money once again. 

I have learned a valuable life lesson which is mainly that you can absolutely not save someone. You can help but not save. And that addictions come from somewhere and that the most awful thing about the gambling one is that it is ‘progressive’ and ‘invisible’. Once again I have a feeling that the last times we were in touch over the phone it was half lies/half truths. 

Merry go around I am now worrying about myself (to use your words). I give it a few more months and the memory will fade.