Trust

Hi Katiecola,

Thank you so much for your reply. I was chatting to my mum about the situation (its a bit like therapy for the both of us really after all the stress he put us through) and to be honest, she wasn't happy with me being with him regardless of the gambling and the lying as she didn't think he was the right person for me anyway because she felt he was acting too young and immature for me! (I'm 27 and he's now 26) I'm slowly getting there though. I have good days and bad days and unfortunately, on one of the bad days, I did text him to see how he was. He was his normal self so no angry texts and we managed to speak about how we felt and agreed that we would stay friends. To me, doing that felt like closure and like I was closing that part of my book. I am one of those people that would hate to go through life thinking someone hated me. I never got the real reason why he did gamble that day but I personally don't think even he really knows the reason why.

You are definitely doing the right thing. He needs to learn and understand the damage that he has caused to you and your girls and that he really needs help to overcome this. I'm sure it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders when you realised you had done all you can! To be honest, in the year we were together, I always felt extremely stressed and even when I lost my grandad in August, I never really grieved for him properly as I was dealing with my partner's problems. I now feel stress free and I'm now trying to focus on getting me back on track. X

It's lovely to hear you being so positive Leanne44, and I always like to hear that people are talking things through with family, talking is indeed therapy and your mum must be so releived to hear your thoughts are (mostly) of your new future. Mum is also probably spot on about the emotional immaturity, its a common feature in compulsive gamblers. I dont think it was a bad thing to text or to stay friends, especially if it ties up loose ends and helps you leave the past behind, and you're right no one will ever understand that gambling, it is just part of that crazy year.

Hi Pangolin,

Thank you for your comment and for the advice you have given me since I started on here. I always think its strange that I was the one on here getting the help, when he should have been on here getting help for us but hey ho! Lol. Yeah, I'm trying to stay as positive as I can. Today has been a bit of an up-down day really as it is my ex's birthday and we were due to spend the next 4 days doing things together but instead I've come into work as I didn't want to stay at home thinking about what could have been. This was the final hurdle for me to get over. One was 7th February as it was due to be our 1st Anniversary together but we broke up a week before, 14th February as we were due to celebrate our Anniversary and Valentines Day together and today being his birthday and all the plans that we had.

I always say its the thoughts in my head that change the mood. Yeah it definitely tied up the loose ends and I know that I am now ready to move on and see what happens in the future.

Thanks again for all your help and advice. It really is appreciated 🙂