What would you have done?

Leaving him is the right thing to do in my opinion. He clearly has no intention of stopping and the addiction has ensured that he cares more about gambling than you or the family.

You have tried everything that you can possibly be done, yet he still blames you. Stay clear or he will suck you back in.

You sound as if you’ve tried everything we all do until we learn the way forward. Look at credit checks. Look after yourself. Speak to stepchange. I financially severed myself from my husband. Tenants in common regarding our house. Unfortunately it doesn’t get better until we stop bailing them out. They have to realise for themselves that this is never going to stop until they admit the problem. Sometimes that means relinquishing all finances. 
Emotionally this is hell and you need to stop looking at what he’s doing but look at yourself. Find out about enabling. This can get better but you have to stop repeating the same behaviour. A gambler needs to take responsibility for their actions.

You need to do whats best for you and the kids he In denial and isnt excepting he has problem i can understand what this illness does to a person but what i dont understand why other people have to suffer for your concequences i lost my partner due to my gambling addiction and i would gladly say at my height of my addiction she should have left me sooner i still have regrets what i did and if i knew what i now knew i would have gladly moved away i am in a far better place and realised through GA and researching through this illness the addiction needs to be taken seriously and it is a life long illness which i have accepted from my last relapse i hate what this addiction makes you do i dont even enjoy doing hopefully my last relapse is the end of it 

Hi Mrs M,

He has no clue about recovery & has shown no effort whatsoever. I'm a compulsive gambler ( last bet Aug 2018 ) Accountability isn't a problem for me, I can explain every penny when my wife asks. I don't get defensive either. I'm open & honest because I know her wanting to know is for my good too, not just hers.

We hear horrendous stories on here every day about bailiffs turning up regarding unpaid debts, that's bad enough. Be aware if tax inspectors from the UK government come after you for unpaid taxes you're facing the worst nightmare. Get out, protect yourself & your children, any CG in true recovery doesn't find scrutiny a problem. 

The person you're describing is not someone open to recovery or change. Believe me he is as much addicted to gambling as a drug addict is addicted to heroin. This isn't going to end well so understand fully what you're dealing with. Think about your hopes & aspirations in life & ask yourself is this person going to fulfil them. Active CGs are compulsive liars & masters of deceit.

Sincere Best Wishes

AL

@faith-777 Thank you for your reply, it's appreciated.

@merry-go-round Thank you for this advice - particularly around focusing on what I'm doing rather than trying to control him. Will check out stepchange and credit checks etc too...Thanks. 

@tazman Thank you for your reply and the insight, it is helpful. Wishing you all the best. 

@slowlearner Thank you very much for this reply, it has really stuck with what what you've said about thinking about my aspirations and whether he can fulfil them. It is also very helpful to hear that scrutiny shouldn't be am issue for someone who really accepts the issue and wants to change. Sounds like you're doing very well, wishing you all the best going forward too. 

Don't go back with him if you will you'll make serious mistake in your life

Guy doesn't want help and obviously choosed gambling over his family and you need to understand that.

Quicker you forget about him better

You'll be with him means he will feed from you it's like a parasite took over his brain and he's hopeless.

There wont be no change in him until he releases what's more important to him you and kids or machines.(or whatever else he gambles on) which will never happens so you're just be wasting day by day of your life that you could be stress free from his addiction and fulfilling your life with happiness with someone else or on your own that all depends on you.Take care and all the best wishes 

You did well by moving out.I remember i was in the same situation as your husband.I would lie to my loved ones because i knew they would stick with me until nobody was in my corner.You have to realise he will change when he wants to nomatter how much effort you put in.Fix your life and make sure the kids dont suffer at this point.

@vladimiruk Thank you for your reply and well wishes.

@jayrinashe Thank you for the sound advice. I think you're right - focus on what I can control for me and the children. 

Quote is that there's 1 in every 8 man who is or will be at some point in their life compulsive gambler so you have about 87.5% chance that you will find someone who is not gambling addict,which is very high chance looking at that percentage.

@vladimiruk disagree with that those people just havent had a bet yet, if every person had a bet the percentage will be alot lower i actually know about 10 people who never gambled in their life would become compuslive gambliers these people are addicted to other things such as gaming drugs and alchohol