Over a year ago now my husband stole my credit card and used £3k on an on line gambling site. I felt sick when I discovered this and had to stop all my bank cards. I should have thrown him out then but his sister was seriously ill which made it even worse that he behaved so selfish whilst his sister was in hospital. Somehow I stuck by him believing it was a one off and wouldn't happen again.. how wrong was I. So here I am over a year later our mortgage is in arrears, unpaid bills every month, sky been cut off numerous times. He doesn't give me any money towards food anytime I ask for money he gets defensive and pretends he cant find his bank card (that's if he still has a bank card)! We have 3 young children & I gave up work last year to look after them Im really struggling now and now I have debt thanks to him. To make matters worse he inherited a large sum and so far hasnt spent a penny on the kids and me. So money shouldn't be an issue but Ive never been so poor in all my life. Ive known this guy for 20 yrs but the last few have been hell. Ive asked him numerous times to come clean but he storms out. I discovered a payday loan on his emails and hes also been to a pawnbrokers. I know hes still gambling as I've seen the emails. Ive had enough my family urging me to leave him just wish he would own up to everything. I feel betrayed and let down, its a very selfish act. Im really worried he'll bring us all down with him if I don't get out now. My biggest fear is losing our house but don't know how I can resolve it when the guy doesn't even want to talk about it. I mean how can you even help someone if they don't come clean. So tired of it all now. Any advice welcome.
Hi susie
Very difficult looking at this from the the side of the fence
I'm trying to stop my gambling addiction and am starting to understand the pain and hurt i cause those in my life with this illness.
When i'm in the midst of gambling its like im in a different world. Unconnected to anything and unaware. I'm not saying this to excuse myself just to explain that gambling addiction has sufferers on many sides
How can you help him? Very difficult if he doesn't want to get help.
I read on other posts many turn to gamcare and gam-anon for help. Have you rung Gamcare for help? May give you some more ideas?
Just know i'm thinking about you and your 3 kids. Hope things get better
Triangle
Thank you for your replies, much appreciated. I understand its difficult for the CG as well as the family concerned. Its good to know there is help and support out there, I did make contact with a helpline last year and even thought about going to a support group guess I thought it was a one off and he wouldn't do it again, and now the problem has escalated. Today 2 more letters have arrived, very serious indeed regarding pawnbrokers and his bank. Just as well I've confided in my family as looks like ill be needing their support. My mum suggested I takeover the finances but think I may be too far gone now to help him anymore. This all started in February last year and looks like the situation hasn't improved. Its a very sad situation for the CG and families to go through. When I was working I dealt with the household bills and its only since he tookover them I've realised what a mess he's in. His salary is reasonable yet he is struggling to pay even the smallest bill. Ill certainly try to talk to him again about it.
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