Hi my son is nearly 24 he's been gambling since the age of 18 it started just by going in the bookies to have a bet on the horses & now six years later he bets on anything from horses,football,moto gp but the worst one is the roulette machine,he's barred out of most bookies but travels further away to the ones he's not barred from,he still lives at home & cannot afford to move out he works 5 days a week sometimes 7 days he gets paid Fridays & by Friday night all his money is gone,I've tried taking his bank card off him & give him spending money but when I do that he treats me bad calls me names says I'm controlling said he hates me,I mainly blame myself because every time he gambles I say that I'm going to kick him out but never do(how can I leave my own son homeless)the gambling breaks every relationship up that he gets,I just feel sorry for him because he's just working to feed his habit,when he's got no money he sits on his laptop every night playing (non paying)gambling games.im just sick & tired of all the stress & upset with it all now I just don't know what to do anymore.
Hi
Reading your post has just made me realise, what the hell the sort of things I have put my poor mum through. I was gambling from 15 till 27 been stopped 7 month now and wouldn't got no where without my mum.
It sounds like to me your son is in denial. Letting someone control your finances, gambling blocks on the laptop is basic things he needs to be doing to start beating this. He sounds like he is taking it out on you, which is unfair. Stand up telling him your there to help but only if he is willing to help himself.
Hello Aw,
Welcome to the Forum. Your son has clearly developed a gambling addiction and he needs help. However, while he is in denial and he is not able to admit that he has a problem it is not possible to help him. Controlling his money can only make him angry. You are saying that he cannot afford to move out but this is not true because he is working and he could if he took responsibility over his life. In a way, you are subsidising his addiction by letting him stay with you. Instead of taking his bank card you can make an agreement that in order for him to stay with you he will have to share the expenses and if he can’t he will have to move out. Give him a time limit and stress that you expect him to get help about his gambling as it is affecting you. Give him the contact details for GamCare and let him know that there is a lot of support available and he doesn’t have to deal with the problem on his own.
Understandably, you find it difficult to ‘kick him out’ but gamblers have a tendency to leave the responsibility with someone else. When you stop looking after him he will have to look after himself. At 24 he is able to do that. I would recommend that you contact GamCare yourself and ask to arrange some counselling sessions to help you build up your boundaries with your son. It will take some thought and reflection to do that effectively and you don’t need to struggle on your own.
You're welcome to contact the GamCare advisers on 0808 8020 133. We're open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week. Alternatively, you can use the Netline to connect to an advisor:
http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline
Best wishes,
forum admin
you just sound like my mam im too going through similar stuff that your son is going through I bet on roulette, poker, football work 5 days a week got nothing to show for it live with me parents we argue all the time as I betted my board money that I owe them and get threatened to kick me out numerous occasions im looking for help so I can gain me parents trust as they said if u continue gambling then you will inherit nothing as they worked all their lives and don't want me to have it to sell it move into a dingy flat and gamble whats left off the money but I don't know how to stop
Thanks for all the replies,from when I posted my post so far so good I still have his bank card & give him so much money each day we are all going on holiday in September so he's trying his best to save all the money he can for spending money but I have to keep the money locked away just incase he's tempted I know I should say stuff it save your own money but it's early days yet,I've asked him to come on here & read about other peoples problems but he still says he don't have a problem,gtrobins it's horrible for any mum to go through their son/daughter gambling and sometimes I think it's never ending but I'm hoping one day he will realise what he's put me through all these years,it's true what ur parents say & you could end up with nothing,I think you've made the first step by coming on here 🙂
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