£1,000 LIGHTER

Hi Star, you will also need photos but they should have their own exclusions forms, certainly all the shops & bookies & Bingos I am excluded from did! I've done the withdraw withdraw withdraw on every card in my wallet & when I 'graduated' onto the bookies I internet banked money across from anywhere & everywhere handing my card over with crossed fingers hoping to get another 100, 200, 300 credit (I didn't even touch that money)! You are going to have to work out how to deal with your grief but in the meantime, cut up the cards you don't need or give them to hubby & call your back to get your cash withdrawal reduced! You need to figure out how to do Christmas on the cheap now so many hours of keeping busy, making stuff, budgeting, making presents should keep you focused until you can jack up some counselling or find a GA room!

Don't procrastinate as our memories are adept @ managing pain & this rawness won't last! Act now while it still hurts & give yourself the best present you could wish for, recovery - ODAAT

i personally know that the hiding we do behind a machine only prolongs the problems as we make them disapear for a while so we dont have to think about the awful things that has happened to us-the problem is that we dont face them so they go on year after year-mine has been twenty years now-far too long to deal with anything im afraid-but i hid it covered it and ruined my life in the process. Im sure our loved ones wouldnt want us to do this to ourselves-but we all deal with things differently. There can be nothing worse than losing a child hun-nothing at all can comprehend this-its not the way its meant to be im sure-god bless you hun-please stay with us and make each day a new one for you and your family-ive done the withdraw-withdraw-win lose and lose lose lose and beat myself up in the process-i actually think the feeling bad keeps you away from the reality as well. all in all the pain of your loss will be compounded by the self loathing-you have done nothing wrong only miss a little one that will never leave your heart. its day 6 for me -so early days for me too but we cant go on like this-mine started with bereavement but after all ive gone through and all the times ive tried to stop i think this is it now-it will take me time to get out of financial trouble-probably at my age never-but we need to live-we will learn to live-they will always be in our hearts but we need to remember the good times as well xxx bless you on your journey-lets take a step a day even if its a fairy stepx goodnight and godbless

Hi all. Day 3 done! And do you know what? The thought of even looking at a slot machine is making me feel sick. This doesn't excite me though as I have felt that way before after a huge loss-more than once! Something however seems to have clicked this time around. I have also deleted my 'friends' numbers from my phone. I do not need friends like that. I don't want friends like that. It guts me so bad when I think £1,000 could have sorted me for Christmas! Now I'm having to try and juggle things around due to my own stupidity. Still, my mess I guess. Here's to day 4.... Star x

Nice positive post Star , well done and stay strong ..............................Alan

keep going love we can do this-im sure-this time is different for me i can feel it

How are you getting on?

CW

Hi all. This hasn't let me post for a few nights. Hoping it will tonight. I'm doing good thank you. A bit moody and irritable but good x

It's another GF day under your belt. Keep going strong Star 🙂

Hello all. Here I am again. Please PLEASE pop over to my diary. It's a new start for me and a new one. Title STARS DIARY WITH MY HAND ON MY HEART xx

Wow! I just re read my first post on here. What a fool I was/am. I really REALLY hope I have learnt my lesson this time and need be I will re read this every single day in order to remember just how bad it made me feel. It's actually made me emotional. Star x

Day 4 gamble free. Go me! Will greet day five with open arms xx