12 days in. Honestly i think joining this chat has been an eye opener. 9 years of gambling. But generally the last 12 days i haven't been interested in a bet at all. i am compulsive. I can NOT gamble again. I can't put 100 pound into a fobt and walk out if i lose. as i cant put 100 pound in win and walk away. And even if i do its like i physically cant keep the money its like i cant wait to give it back. And when i do i chase what i just lost. And its a vicious circle.
I know a lot of people who use this forum dont have an account. And mabye some are at a part of there problem that there in denial. Mabye you got no debts. Mabye you think that im not like these guys who have thousands in debt, lost there house etc etc. I was just like that. I havent hit rock bottom ive lost 5 figures. Ive had sleepness nights. Stress anxiety. I have no debt BUT i am a compulsive gambler. Dont fool yourself into thinking your not. If your gambling once a month but its a problem then its a problem. Drop your ego. Sign up. Stop gambling. Before it gets to a point where you physicality cannot stop. And you need therapy or rehab. Im not going to get to that point. No chance. Id rather swallow my stuoid ego. Accept that i have a problem with gambling. Right now i have no lasting effects of gambling. Only regret. Which im working hard on myself to be present and leave the past in the past. But remembering those times where within minutes £2500 gone and couldn't even afford the taxi home. Its easy to forget when its easy. But if you start thinking i can control this. Night start with the odd 10ner. But im positive il be back walking home in the rain after emptying my bank account.
Well said, it's not really about how much you spend or how often you do it, it's if you know that once you start you can't stop untill you have nothing left, then that's when you know you need help! The last time I went in planning on setting myself a limit and walking away if I didn't win, I regretted it as soon as I spent my first tenner, got a sick feeling and knew it wasn't going to end well, I was right, £600 down walking home trying my best not to cry untill I got in the house. I'm also on day 12 and determand never to let that happen again. Wish id stopped months ago when I knew I had a problem instead of constantly telling myself stupid things like next I'll cash out as soon as I win or if I don't win after a certain amount I'll go, even though I knew really that I couldn't.
Agreed its very easy to tell yourself you haven't got a problem and make excuses for yourself. Put the money in the machine as you put it in tellong yourself i should not be doing this. Its an addiction like smoking/ drinking/ drugs. Problem bring you can smoke 50 grand worth of cigerates in a hr. But gambling you sure can. Financially it destorys you!
Hi betnomore,
Glad to hear this forum has helped you too! I think we all question why it took us as long as it did to do something about it. We all just needed to hit that point where carrying on felt worse than trying to stop. For me it took maxing out my avaliable credit limits and then starting to pass my money issues onto my family (loans from them also).
Yes im disappointed it took me this long to work on recovery but the truth is i think without hitting that low i would still be in my gamlbers world right now. More than the money i would have lost more of whatever life i have left. The way is see it is so far i've gained 50 days of what matters. We can't change the day when we realised we could get ourselves out of this, but in trying to we're doing all we can for today.
All the best
Well done on getting to 50 days sjw! Do you find the more days gf you do the less urges you get? I'm hoping to get get to a point were gambling no longer enters my mind, but not sure if that's a little unrealistic.
Been there, seen it done it bought the t-shirt.
You’re not alone - stay the course this time, it gets easier.
Yes it gets easier. I've accpeted that i will get thoughts from time to time but they are not urges to gamble. My mind has been put at easy with tight blocks in place. I tried to give up on willpower and i couldn't do it. Now my addiction knows its being blocked i haven't even tried to look for ways around them. Feel a lot calmer and more in control. I don't have access to my credit or debit cards and withdrawl my food money etc on payday. My debts are getting paid and i don't need to keep checking my statements because i know i have the money to cover everything.
Im no longer running my accounts to the limits with withdrawls or waiting for funds to clear from the odd withdrawl i did actually make to cover direct debits a few days before they were due to come out!
One day at a time!
Hey hows everyone doing? Good i hope! Stay strong
Well done 'betnomore' on your recovery so far.
I really liked your first post as it's very important to realise that not all addicts adhere to the stereotype so we may not recognise ourselves as having a problem until it has caused some serious issues.
It's the same as an alcohol addiction. I know a professional lady in her 30's who never sought treatment for her addiction because she was in denial. She didn't fit the stereotype of 'vodka with breakfast, park bench, special brew and down & out' so thought she was OK. It's the same with gambling, you don't have to have debts, baliffs at the door, lose your wife and kids or be gambling every day to have a problem just the inability to control your gambling beyond the first bet.
Well done for posting and good luck with your continued recovery.
All the best.
Phil
Agree, great opening post and Phil83 your words are also so true.
Is a CG who gets caught out any different to one who owns up? IMO “NO”. It’s how they accept the reality and start their recovery that makes the difference.
Everyone’s recovery can also differ and what route they take and what barriers they put in place are for the individual. But if anyone doesn’t agree “their powerless to gambling” then sorry you will never leave the starting blocks!
All the best.
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