Hello everyone!
12 year gambler bet and lost thousands over the years. Ive never pulled out loans or been in debt or stolen to gamble. However, I lose and then deposit, lose deposit and chase the losses. I can never seem to stop depositing. Any winnings id gamble until I eventually lost it all. I’ve recently banned myself using Gamstop. I then started to walk to my local bookies withdrawing £50 a day with some days withdrawing up to £200 a day due to losing streaks and getting angry. 5 days ago I decided enough is enough of this. Ive genuinely had enough. I know it wont be easy but I've started to really think about my life and how much time I've wasted. That determined strong ambitious person I used to be has been crushed by gambling and I no longer recognise myself.
I hate the idea of saying I have a problem, but I do….and the sooner I admit it to myself the better. So I've signed up to this as my way of keeping on the straight and narrow. Reading some stories on here makes my heart sink.
One thing that is crazy to me is I begrudge buying myself any clothes or anything I need yet I would happily blow £100 on a bet? I also think that anything I now spend will just go down it’s not gambling money. It’s honestly the most ridiculous way of thinking and I'm struggling to come to terms with it. I feel unfulfilled with just earning money. Maybe I need to learn to enjoy life again and enjoy the little treats as my only thrill seemed to be gambling.
Hi Tommy, I can understand exactly how you are feeling. I am at the point too where enough is enough. I also just chase my losses, I really spiralled 3 nights ago losing £1200 of my savings. Like yourself, I’m fortunate that I have no debt and I do pay all my bills. Ive felt terrible now for the past 3 days and my anxiety has been horrendous. I’ve seen multiple councillors and also had hypnotherapy but I always end up relapsing.
Hi Tommy
Welcome to the forum and it's good you're here.
There's nothing wrong with having a problem, it just becomes worse when you put off dealing with it, which is why it's good that you're here and started doing something about it to address it. Most of us are here as we have the same problem, gambling addiction.
Now, I can identify with most of things you have mentioned in your post, except that I did do the worse, unfortunately. I did borrow to gamble, also took out a credit card in my wife's name and use it to gamble. I couldn't pay back the debts in time, as I gambled everything and we had to get a default. As a result, I ruined her credit score as well as mine. That was the highest point of my addiction. I consider it stealing all they long, and I am really ashamed of it when I think about it. The only consolation was, I immediately told my wife what I did and faced the emotional drain.
On your case my friend, I have to emphasise that, you are really in a fortunate place at present as you don't have debts, which is an advantage that you are not starting from minus. But, if you continue to gamble, I can assure you that gambling addiction will drag you down further, probably into the debt, because it really doesn't mind taking everything. People have gambled away their children's pocket money. They are not bad people, as in, I'm sure they do love their children as much as other families do, but, this is where gambling addiction can take you. Nothing is out of the question.
Also, I have noticed another positive in your post that you seem to know the root cause of why you gamble. Many people can't put a finger on exact reasons, because it can be mixture of circumstances. You are saying that you feel unfulfilled just earning money. I am not sure if it's related to your career or the things you do outside of it. If you're not happy with your job, you can always do further studying to improve yourself to do something else. Or, maybe you have enough in your reserve to change things around it is. Make sure you start addressing that as well, it will be a big help. With me, reading books has become my salvation for the time being among my daily battles with addiction.
Finally, please take all the measures to stop now before you descent further. You mention going into the bookies, there is a scheme called The MOSES to ban yourself from the betting shops in vicinity, I am using it, it's not perfect but it works. Give Gamcare a call, they provide information on counselling, guidance etc., so, make sure you choose life, not gambling addiction.
I wish you all the best.
Ergos
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
