I started gambling at the age of 17, at the time, I was only betting small amounts on football games. One of my friend, who introduced me to betting was also placing bets on football and he was gambling for more than £500 on match days. When I look back, I remember telling him that he was crazy betting all of his money earned, but I didnt know I would ever be in the same situation (or worst) than him.
A year latter, I had passed my A-levels and I was at university. This is when I started having a lot of money in my account, and when I increased my stakes (as I was now able to gamble legally, I used to bet on the internet or at the betting shops). I would go to the casino, every weekend with some friends, one time we actually went to the same casino three days in a row, friday, saturday and sunday. I think at the time I was gambling about £200.
During my second academic year, I realised that I had a problem with gambling, I would play poker online almost every year and betting large amounts on football. I managed to survive during that year and going into my third year where I am today.
As soon as I get my loans, 3times a year, I wake up early on the payday (I found out that the money comes at around 4am), and start playing poker. My parents give me 500 a month on top of my loans for my rent and living fees. Today I think I have lost between 10 to 15k, every time I lose I just force my mind to forget about it, and it works, until someone asks for their money back...
I dont know where I am going in life anymore, I owe some of my friends money, my landlord about 3 months rent (he has sent me an eviction letter now). This is affecting my studies as I am in my final year and my graduation is this summer (if i do graduate). This week I lost about £1600, I got stuck in a circle as gambling is the only way I can repay my debts, instead of recouping my losses, I am sinking more and more. The only time I dont gamble is when I dont have money, now I have to wait until the begining of the month to get another 500. My rent is 400 and I will have to pay 4 months now. My friends said they can wait.
I havent told anyone about this appart from few friends that are also gamblers. I dont know how to tell my parents, as few of my relatives also gamble, I dont want to disapoint them by telling them I am a gambler. My grand-father used to gamble, my mum and her sister lost very large amounts in casinos but they have now stopped.
Every day I wake up asking myself, how I am going to repay all this money. Even when I win a few grands, I know its not enought, then I lose everything most of the time.
I tried to close some of my accounts online but its very easy to open another one, plus I have a betting shop just in front of my house...
I would really appreciate it if someone could give me advise on how to start living normaly again, how they have delt with their debts
Hello biste,
The best advice I can give you on how to live your life normally and deal with your debts is to stop gambling! The more time you can put between the present and the last time you gambled, the clearer your thoughts will become enabling you to work things out. I would say a good plan for you is to focus on on getting your degree, that's your best shot on getting a good job, which is your best shot at dealing with your debts. Its probably hard, dealing in your head with the money lost, but you're young, try and see it as you've paid for a "lesson in life". An expensive and a harsh lesson in life yes, but if you get to my age (late thirties) and you're not gambling you'll look back on it positively.
Best of luck and best wishes!!
I have done exactly the same thing as you I am doing a degree and I know how it feels...I hope we can both work out this problem! I go out of control with my gambling which has lead to me losing tens of thousands...it is really difficult to survive like this it is like torturing ourselves?...seeing everyone else enjoying the money is like rubbing salt into the wounds....
I feel like I have let my whole family down ..I used to smoke..and drink but somehow I managed to kick that habit...I have never been succesful, however, in stopping gambling...please! there must be a magic pill which can wipe the slate clean.
I will beat this but when I start thinking about the grands I have lost..I begin to chase it again..I am sure it is to do with a lot of feelings, boredom, greed, depression & stress..especially stress related triggers mine, because when I get angry or cannot begin to think about exams I end up in the bookies.
I went on holiday last year with my brother and all I did is go in the arcades and gamble ruinig everyones holiday...ohh yh...I deeply love my brother and hardly get to see him...i managed to pee him off and he told me to stop....I havent i have spent 11k since then,
Thank you both for the reply it shows that we are not alone in this mess. Dervkidd, we just have to stop, that means forgetting about the losses as this will just make you lose even more. I have finally realised that...
For me it has been 3 days since I havent gambled, i know its not a long time but it is very hard, i live just opposite a bookie so every time I go out, there's that voice inside me saying "just go inside..." lol, everytimes I feel the need, I just think about my family working hard and giving me money so that I can graduate without having to get a part-time job. This is the only thing stopping me right now, its not fair for them and I dont want to be selfish anymore...
I hope the days will turn into weeks then months and years as I dont want to destroy my life with gambling. I have read a lot of stories on this forum, and I do not want to end up losing everything I care about... I just hope I will be strong enough for this fight...
am steve believe me u r not alone as i had the bug big time 2day and had to bring my partner home from her mates 2 stop me from goin 2 town ,its been a hard day with tears ect but feel alot better now,as i no longer can let my family down any more so belive me u r not alone as ive been playing slot machines for 20years.
Biste, you may (i.e. really really should) wish to consider contacting a charity such as the National Debt helpline for advice. These services are free and are used to helping gamblers so theres no shame in confessing to them - they hear it all the time. They can do amazing things with peoples debts including absolving them in the most extreme cases but there is one underlying fact that i must make crystal clear to you --> Nothing will work if you continue to harbour the desire to gamble. You must cut it out of your life completely. Even a year from now, you could be graduated in a decent job with debts shrinking away and start one day to think about going online for a bit of poker. DO NOT DO IT!!! Get Betfilter installed if you are serious and self exclude from the bookies. Do not make excuses for yourself, if you dont want to do these things then be frank as to why you dont want to recover yet. Then you can continue to gamble honestly until you are satisfied that you have made your life throughly s**t enough and are ready to stop. I speak harshly, but out of necessity. I too started gambling at uni and lost around what you did. I needed somebody to b*tch slap me across the face in the early days but nobody did, at least not hard enough to make me face up to what i was doing to myself. Please, learn from my failing and take back control of your life. You can still graduate like everybody else if you explain to the appropriate people at uni whats happened to you and what you are doing to get back on track. It all comes down to how determined your are to face facts and start anew. Also i recommend Gamblers Anonymous [groan] yes, i know what you're thinking mate forget all that - its a great organisation and it can help you a great deal.
It sounds like you have hit rock bottom in coming on here but i promise you things can get worse beyond imagining if you dont take back control. You haven't for example committed robbery or murder to fund poker yet have you? Do not underestimate how low this disease will bring you!
hi dervkidd and biste!
I think Im pretty much the same as you two. I started off small and have built up to bigger bets. I think gambling puts you in a no win situation, when you win it acts as encouragement to go back and when you loose you equally want to go back and win the money back you lost! I dont have to worry about my parents finding out now because the fraud team from my bank phoned my dad up this morning to check a few transactions with him (lol...just my luck). I suppose thats a good thing I guess, just means im likely to get a huge earbashing when I go back home for Easter but I deserve it.
I with everyone else around me agree that I need to stop, but obviously thats the hardest bit. I think the advertisements are terrible too! It seems that everywhere I go im being encouraged to gamble and the sheer number of betting shops in town doesn't exactly help.
Anyways good luck to you two and cya around!
Hi dervkidd and biste!
I carn't give you much advice that already has not being mentioned. You both have took the first steps in admitting you have a problem and even posting on here takes some doing !!!
The only advice i will give you both is please tell someone weather its your parents,wife or girlfriend as i know it will be hard but this will feel like a big weight of your shoulders that people know about your problem ! It will be a shame thing for you both at the moment but letting people know will help trust me as i have been there before and it helped me recover for a while untill i started gambling again. I have let my wife and kids down for a second time and hurt alot of people in the process and just hope i can win all there trust back and prove i have kicked this gambling lark for good !!
There will be good days and bad days believe me, but you have to take it one day at a time !
Best of luck to you both.
Darren
well am stoppin gambling big time as ive got better things to do in my time,uve only got shot at life so let da good times roll.
Ur story sounds so familar when I was at uni I gambled heavily an have now only three years later have started tryin to so something bout it. My advice would be to
tell ur famliy or a very gud friend at uni or support groups at the university. As it's the hardest thing to do is to admit it to friends an family but u will find
they will support u
Hi, I'm a 24 year old student in my final year at Uni. I've had similar problems to you, I've made my life a misery for several years and it's been difficult coping with the debt. One thing I couldn't help but notice was that you've had a decent amount of financial support, sometimes, I feel this prevents people from trying to overcome their gambling problem. Not having responsibility and always having things to fall back on means that you fail to admit to your mistakes. I was supported for several years during my studies (if you see at different post I have recently made to someone else who is a student gambler).. During the past two years, my support has dried out and i've been forced to work part-time whilst studying. This hasn't been easy and has affected my studies.
I expect to graduate in 3 months time. I am still in the process of recovering and I feel I will be for a long time. The thing I have noticed is that debt also makes recovery a lot harder. Several years ago I had nothing in place and I kept receiving letters etc but now I'm on a debt management plan which makes things manageable. This takes away the stress of having to pay huge debts whilst studying. When you receive your next and final installment, pay everything you need to pay.. rent bills etc.. set up a budget plan too. One useful thing that's helped me was my university counselling service. I've found it hard to speak out and go to GA and I prefer things one-one. The counselling has helped greatly. I hope you can overcome this problem. The sooner you begin your recovery the better. Your life will improve.
Don't worry about debt, any debt is manageable. Concentrate on completing your studies. If it's short-term problems, talk to university counselling AND the financial advise services they offer. Both will be very useful.
Best of luck,
Steve
Hi Biste, I agree with Steve and i can relate to a few things he said.
Every time I lost I just force my mind to forget about it. Thats exactly what i did when I gambled, and I ended up losing more and more as the days went by.
I have to agree with every1 else this gambling illness has got 2 stop.
All the best Biste with your revcovery.
SONY
Hi Sony, we chat briefly yesterday. How are you coping today? Keep it up, I feel like we're both at the same stage, you've been gamble free for 1 week? Hows it all going? I don't like to speak of gambling as an illness or disease- Those sort of things, you can't do anything about. If you contract a disease, it's not your fault and nature will take its course. Gambling however, only yourself can change it. If you say it has got to stop, then it will. Sometimes, the hardest thing in life to some people can actually be easy for others if you have a positve outlook. One of the biggest hurdles is accepting the endless mistakes you've made and take responsibility for them. This sounds stupid but I was actually lying in bed last night, thinking to myself when I get paid or receive my student loan, I should think to myself before I get tempted by gambling, am I prepared to lose my whole bank balance?? if the answer is no (which obviously it should be), then that ought to be enough not to gamble. I know now that I am not capable of losing £20 or £50 and walking away. I cannot accept defeat.. I've been known to just keep going and going into I've lost everything. The only time I will ever truely win is if I don't gamble- full-stop.
Part of asking myself- can I lose every penny I own... I need to consider other things- can i afford to lose my job/my girlfriend/my family... the answer again is obviously not..
The potential of winning is a possiblity.. If you gamble 10 times, you might be up on one occassion, but the next, you could lose everything you "won" previously and a hell of a lot more. I've said in a previous post, you are BORROWING money. When you've had a big win, you spend it like it's not yours- but you'll find one week or a month like, you'll pay it back along with the 500 or 1000pound of your own HARD EARNED money. Gambling isn't worth it. The buzz/adrenalin rush/ the kick is such an expensive habbit.. That is what we all "thought" we enjoyed. I think part of recovery, we all need to find something to replace that buzz. Weather it's socializing/sports/hobbies.. something.. Since i've been gamble-free, my self-esteem has definitely improved 🙂 I'm happy and I will be a lot happier person for the rest of my life for not pursueing this aweful addiction..
Apologies for going on... I initially wanted to write to Sony, but I hope these thoughts have helped others.
Take care all, best of luck with recovery.
Sony, stay focused. you CAN do it.
am doin well still just 2 let every geezer no,i live in stafford and lov my cat phobie so gamblin aint no mre
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