I am I am no Hi, my name is Mikey and I am a compulsive gambler.
I have now been GF for 36 days and I wanted to share my story, it may give a little hope to people who are feeling hopeless after countless relapses.
I have been a problem gambler since my 18th Birthday, the first time I entered a casino. So nearly 12 years. In that time, much like many others on here, I have lost thousands. Lost relationships, either directly or indirectly, almost been homeless, cried, lied, been so stressed and sad because of my utter inability to stop.
It started with Roulette, the quick fix, big win big loss game I'm sure we're all aware of. Spinning sometimes up to £1,000 in one spin. Once I outed to my family about my problem after losing all my wages one month, I barred myself from local casino's, but then when the urge came back, it just meant I had to drive a bit further.
Eventually, for ease, I would go to bookies. Losing and winning thousands and thousands. Not being able to concentrate at work because all I wanted to do was spin that wheel, get money back that I'd lost, or increase amounts I had already won. To be honest, I don't ever think it really was about the winning or losing, the high came from playing full stop.
Fast forwarding a few years, the problem then became online slots, aswell as scratchcards and football betting, aswell as £1,000 bets on American basketball games, or horses, or dogs, you get my gist.
This went on for years, until recently. Having previously tried GA a couple of times I knew that wasn't my answer. My answer came from a desperate situation recently where I knew my marriage was at risk. I have searched for answers for so many years, but truthfully, not hard enough. I am now having counselling and I have got the right mindset, I know I can beat this and I hope everyone reading beats theirs too. I have to cut this short as my little boy has woken up, but love to you all, Mikey x
Mikey huge congratulations to you!!! What a fantastic achievement!!!
I am the wife of an addict but unlike you he does not want help, total denial that he has a problem. This is whilst gambling over 1000K every few days. Has cashed in all our retirement policies and lost all of it and has gone through around 80 - 100K in last few years. Yet no! He has no problem. He was into online gambling, lottery tickets, scratch cards, arcades, bookies.....you name it! I thought he had stopped, I was wrong. I have thrown him out and I'm divorcing him. He is 61 and I am 50. We have a beautiful daughter aged 11 and son 14 who now won't see him....their choice not mine.
Give that little boy of yours the biggest hug and as your doing so imagine losing him, not having him in your life anymore. That's what gambling can do.
You are very brave and deserve this chance. You can do this!!
lots of luck to you.
Wow, I'm very sorry to hear of your predicament. But also, pleased that you are in a situation that hopefully you can move forward and replace and rebuild your life and the things that were taken out of your control. Gambling is a horrible, vile and very destructive thing, as I know you have experienced. But the sad thing is, that again as you know, you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. It's hard enough when they do. But I want sh you every happiness and I genuinely hope that things work out the very best for you and your family. I look at my 7 month old boy every day and know that if I can do one thing, it will be to not let that beautiful boy down. All my love, Mikey.
Thank you Mikey
i can't pretend to understand your addiction but you are doing everything you can to beat it I'm sure.
Keep going forwards, you'll get there. You have the best reason in the world to stay clean, do it for him.
Hi Mikey, good luck on your journey! I'm also on 36 GF, first time really giving it a go (I mean I had months without gaming but never tried to stop), wasted tens of tousands of pounds over the years (dont want to say hundreds of tousands but I would not be far of).
I absolutely get your point.. for me it actually wasnt in the end about the money and winning... it was just the buzz...
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