A new beginning...So far

Hi Cluedo,

Welcome to the forum. Coming here is a great first step and admitting your problem and wanting to change is the only way forward.

In the early days of your recovery the urges will be strong so do whatever you can to prevent yourself from gambling. By this, I mean practical measures (self-exclusion from physical sites, blocking online access, handing over control of money, not carrying cash etc). Initially willpower may work but, please trust me, I am speaking from bitter experience, the pain will start to fade and you WILL allow gambling back in your life it is easy to access.

Good luck from me (and I'm sure everyone on the forum). Keep posting, maybe start a recovery diary as this is a greeat way to visually track your own progress.

All the best.

Phil

Hi Mate

I know exacly how you feel, its very hard to stop and hard to stop urges to gamble. But it is possible, My advice to you is to try and focus on other things in life like your hobbies, talking to friends or exercise. Anything that will take your mind off gambling. Its whats working for me so far. I'm currently on day 2, (with a slight hiccup) its possible to overcome.

I know how you feel about the debt, I was in £3500 worth of gambling debt, I got out of that hole thankfully. Im sure you will too.

All the best.

Thank you Phil and Alex for such a lovely welcome and words of support.
I can feel the restlessness already and all I can think about is going to the arcade tmrw when I have money. Ahhhhh!!!!
I think I will start my diary to keep track of my progress.
It's going to be a long road...

Good advice from Phil there . Stripping everything away on a very simple level , if you want to stop you can stop . It’s down to you . It takes a lot of soul searching and honesty with yourself and others around you . From Day one you will see the benefits of stopping . The first few days you will relax more , not stress as much and start to see things right in front of you that you ignored that are so good , for example your daughter and her life . We become very blinkered and selfish . You will financially benefit on the short term too, for example getting to the first pay day and having money left over . Facing the debts won’t seem like such an enourmous burden . It can be done , you just have to be committed . Ask yourself this . What good things does gambling give you ? It’s a simple question but write a list down of good vs bad . Maybe looking at it subjectively like that could be an eye opener . We have very short memories and tend to remember the wins. This may help. Also write down reasons why you shouldn’t gamble . What you are missing out on in life by doing it . I promise you after a short period of time you can achieve what you are missing out on . Use this site obsessively at the start . It really helped me and I’m over 100 days and my life has goe completely on the up . We understand and we are rooting for you to succeed . No matter how down you feel right now , carry on and it will get much worse

Dear Cluedo

You've taken a very big step in joining the forum and asking for help. We know that's hard to do. You now have to keep taking the next step, and the next.

Phil83 made a very good point about putting blocks in place to make it harder to gamble. You don't have to rely on willpower alone. You said you were worried about going to the arcade today. So why not get yourself barred from the arcade? You can ask them to also bar you from all the other arcades in your area. If you're worried that if you go to the arcade to get barred, you might back out and gamble instead, maybe you could take a trusted friend with you to make sure you go through with it. You can find out more about self-exclusion at our website:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/self-exclusion

It's worrying that you're saying you can't afford food, especially given that you have a daughter. If you find yourself unable to afford food again, you could try a local food bank. You've said you re in so much debt that you hardly know where to start. There are free helplines which can offer expert debt advice and can help you get your debts under control again. You can find out more on our website:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/finance-and-debt-management

But it's vital that you take the steps today to ensure that you don't find yourself in this position again.

You don't have to struggle with this on your own. We offer free local counselling both face to face and online. And there are Gamblers Anonymous support groups in most areas too. If you'd like to talk things over with a GamCare adviser, give our HelpLine a call on 0808 8020 133. It's a free call. If you prefer communicating online, you can chat 1:1 with an Adviser on our NetLine.

And keep posting. As Bryan said above, we are rooting for you to succeed.

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin