A new start hopefully

To add to this, I moved in with my girlfriend last year. Couldnt tell her as it would destroy her as she thinks i have been saving, I need to get my act together. I cant tell anyone apart from my dad.

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I handed all the finances to my wife just over 6 months ago and 're-took possession of my bank card last week.

Each individuals time scale in this is different but give yourself a chance of recovery by making it a reasonable length of time.

I was given cash for anything I needed and I provided a receipt.

The FOBT was my downfall. If you have no money on you you cannot gamble. Simples.

Don't look too far into the future. Just take things one day at a time and embrace recovery.

Best wishes

Thanks Balvaird, how are you getting on now? How much has your emotional state improved. I feel so so awful

Hi,

Just over 6 months gamble free. Emotionally much better but sometimes plain guilt. When we buy something for the house I say "how much?????" But would think nothing of banging a ton in a FOBT.

It may sound strange but awful is good as it means you have hit rock bottom. Take a picture in your mind of that feeling and if you have an urge look at the picture and move on.

Every day you do not gamble you are slowly repaying people's trust in you.

Best wishes

Thanks Balvaird, I would say this is rock bottom. Cant go on like this, I am lucky to have came clean at this age. I couldnt go on and let my girlfriend and family down. I need to save not for a morgage ect and be a better person.

Feeling better today. Clearer. I have time to save my future. I need to not allow the past to consume me.

Anyone got any ideas how to do that. How not to get overrun by regrets of the past? And to move on and be positive about the future?

A better weekend

Hi se 123. Fobt's also my downfall my friend , so your def not alone on here . I stopped betting 41 days ago and couldn't feel happier !. Things soon change if you let go of the losses and thats exactly what you need to do ! Focus on the future , on your new future ahead and forget about the money thats gone , it aint coming back and chances are if you had a win and recouped some of your losses you'd have another bet and the cycle of bet , chase , lose would begin again ! . Well done for making the right choices , little steps , one day at a time and things will get better my friend !. Best wishes for now ALAN

Thanks Alan. Very good advice and definitely the only way forward to let go and move forward. Thank you my friend

Hi se123. I opened up to my parents when I was 19 about my gambling problem. My Dad cleared the debts (I paid it all back over the next 2 years) and took my bank card do I had to call him anytime I needed money. It was a year and a half before I got my card back and I continued gamble free for another 6 months. Unfortunately after 2 years I thought I had kicked the habit and would be able to bet recreationally but we know how that turns out!

As for the feelings of guilt and regrets of the past, I'll not lie as it will be hard especially at the start but gets easier with time. All we can control is the present as the past is behind us. Imagine a year or 2 from now, would you like to say 'I'm still in trouble because of gambling' or 'I'm gamble free for this long and look at the money I have saved!'

Jax Teller wrote: Hi se123. I opened up to my parents when I was 19 about my gambling problem. My Dad cleared the debts (I paid it all back over the next 2 years) and took my bank card do I had to call him anytime I needed money. It was a year and a half before I got my card back and I continued gamble free for another 6 months. Unfortunately after 2 years I thought I had kicked the habit and would be able to bet recreationally but we know how that turns out! As for the feelings of guilt and regrets of the past, I'll not lie as it will be hard especially at the start but gets easier with time. All we can control is the present as the past is behind us. Imagine a year or 2 from now, would you like to say 'I'm still in trouble because of gambling' or 'I'm gamble free for this long and look at the money I have saved!'

Jax again amaxing advise. Cannot controle the past but can control the future. How are you getting on now? Have you tryed GA? I have spoken to lapsed gamblers who say that it is the only way out.

I'm finding it difficult at the minute to be honest, I've been fighting the urges all day to go and do a bet. I haven't tried GA yet but I'm expecting a call from a counsellor tonight about some one to one sessions. I do find other peoples stories on here helpful especially the successful ones.

Hi se123, welcome to recovery 🙂

Great work telling your dad but I'm gonna suggest that as embarrassing as it my be you should tell your OH too! Mr Brightside's exit post on the 2014 challenge goes into this in more detail! This addiction is sneaky, it will try & creep up on you when you are least expecting it & you have a long road ahead of you learning to live with this addiction because there is no cure, recreational betting isn't for us! If your OH knows she is forewarned & can look out for the signs that addiction is pecking your head!

My poison was machines, my rock bottom the realisation that I could not do this to my other half & the shame @ times is overwhelming so I can feel your pain...I only wish I'd had your common sense & come looking for this @ your age! I took my cards back on day 91 & it took every bit of strength I had not to whisk myself straight back to square one but I did it & I haven't looked back! Some people keep their gambling triangle (Time-Money-Location, remove 1 & you cannot gamble) broken much longer because recovery is bespoke! You only need to look around the site to see that the people who commit to GA or accept the counselling & help that is available are the ones winning this battle!

Now is the time to commit to recovery, no savings & no money is positively amazing by most CG's standards...Don't get complacent & One Day At A Time you can work @ getting your life back. You don't want to look back on this moment with regret so grab the opportunity with both hands & start really living - ODAAT

ODAAT wrote:

Hi se123, welcome to recovery 🙂

Great work telling your dad but I'm gonna suggest that as embarrassing as it my be you should tell your OH too! Mr Brightside's exit post on the 2014 challenge goes into this in more detail! This addiction is sneaky, it will try & creep up on you when you are least expecting it & you have a long road ahead of you learning to live with this addiction because there is no cure, recreational betting isn't for us! If your OH knows she is forewarned & can look out for the signs that addiction is pecking your head!

My poison was machines, my rock bottom the realisation that I could not do this to my other half & the shame @ times is overwhelming so I can feel your pain...I only wish I'd had your common sense & come looking for this @ your age! I took my cards back on day 91 & it took every bit of strength I had not to whisk myself straight back to square one but I did it & I haven't looked back! Some people keep their gambling triangle (Time-Money-Location, remove 1 & you cannot gamble) broken much longer because recovery is bespoke! You only need to look around the site to see that the people who commit to GA or accept the counselling & help that is available are the ones winning this battle!

Now is the time to commit to recovery, no savings & no money is positively amazing by most CG's standards...Don't get complacent & One Day At A Time you can work @ getting your life back. You don't want to look back on this moment with regret so grab the opportunity with both hands & start really living - ODAAT

Thank yo ODAAT, did you do counciling or GA? Really want to make the most of this chance and change. Going well so far but i know i cant be compacent.