About me

Hi Amy,

More qualified people than me will be along in a minute to help. But I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you on this terrible situation.

May I suggest that this sounds like an abusive relationship to me, and as such, you need to take action to protect yourself before things escalate and your self-esteem, confidence, even safety are compromised. Refuge website has a wealth of great info.

http://refuge.org.uk/get-help…-for-women/recognising-abuse/

Hope this helps. You shouldn't have to be putting up with this. You might even want to consider going to the police to get a crime number for the fraud he has repeatedly committed, so you can show the credit card / loan companies.

His threats of suicide are nasty attempts to control you and keep you doing what he wants. It's the lowest form of Emotional Blackmail.

IF he ever were to follow through, then it would be HIS responsibility, NOT yours.

All the best,

Molehole

You really need to talk to a professional about this. I used to be a teacher and it worried me how many girls were in (non violent) abusive relationships yet thought this was 'normal' because it was their first.

BBC website has some great contact numbers and confidential emails to talk through your worries.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/a…file_az/abusive_relationships

Really hope things get better for you soon, you sound like a kind and decent person, who deserves better. Your boyfriend will only change when HE wants to - and I'm sorry to say whilst his mum and those around him bail him out and always dance to his tune, he never has reason to reach rock bottom and change.

Mx

Happy if I've helped. Please post back soon and let us all know how you're getting on. We're all here for the same reason - so remember you are not alone on this.

Best wishes,

Molehole x

Hi Amy - Bless you, it sounds as if you have been put through the wringer by this partner of yours. Molehole has given you some very helpful advice which I cannot really add to, except to say that although your boyfriend has a problem we can all relate to, he has no right to make you feel so bad. You owe him nothing - he owes you everything for your tolerance of his abusive behaviour. As someone old enough to be your grandmother, believe me when I say that you have a lifetime ahead of you in which to find happiness with a loving and respectful partner. Stay safe, and I hope you soon find the support to help you end this abusive relationship.

Joanna

Thank you Joanna I have deleted my post now I feel scared with everyone knowing I have never told anyone about this before and it just made me panic , my family know bits but not all of it because I know they would fall out with me for staying with him but I really appreciate yours and Moleholes response and have emailed somebody off the link he gave me so thank you very much even after everything though I love him and just want him to get better I'm just not coping with it thank you again

No worries - I understand the panic feeling. Please bear in mind though that you are free to be anonymous on this site - for example I'm Molehole. Very few people here would have the guts (even if it were ever necessary) to use their real names. So if you need to post again, maybe just use a random name and then you're free to write all you're feeling anonymously.

Sorry if I'm banging on, but I'm genuinely worried about your situation. Most gamblers past or present (including me) deep down realise that we're destroying our lives but can't stop. Your post about your boyfriend sounded like it might be a bit deeper than that and not just about his gambling.

Anyway, like I said in my first post, I'm not a professional, but I truly hope you can get the confidence to see that 'love' isn't just about saying 'yes' all the time.

Sincerely,

Mx